Shopping is clearly the best response

So our judges sometimes give the jury a survey after trials are over, to assess the attorneys and stuff. I hate these things. In the two juries I've had fill them out, a jury member commented on my appearance as the thing they liked the least about me. I was incredibly offended. One said I should have dressed more professionally, despite the fact that I wore a business suit every day.  Wtf? What am I supposed to wear, a ball gown?
First off, I know how to dress professionally and appropriately for court. Second off, although I dress a little more flashy for routine court appearances, since the judges and court staff and other attorneys are familiar enough with me that they aren't surprised if I show up with hot pink eyeshadow or giant earrings, I dress conservatively for jury trials. Neutral make-up, low-key colors, etc. So, it's not like I dress like a freak.
Third off, how is telling me you don't like my appearance constructive at all?
Fourth off, I doubt male attorneys get comments like that...
So, naturally, I am now all self-conscious and worried about how I look. Which necessitated a trip to the mall today to get myself some new work clothes.  And maybe I found an adorable pair of kitten heels that I also had to get because they were only $10!

Ready, set, TRIAL!

Day one of my first trial of 2012 starts this afternoon.  Game face on!
In case you were wondering, my current trial pump-up song  is "I Need a Hero" by Bonnie Tyler. Look it up!

First trial of 2012

I start another trial on Monday. Oddly enough, the client in this trial is the same client as my last trial. He had two cases pending and he just happened to have his cases actually make it to the top of the trial calendar one right after the other. So, we are going to trial on the other file starting on Monday.
I'm going to be exceptionally far behind on things after this trial. I still haven't caught up from being gone for vacation and now I will be gone for trial, as well. So I am going to be super crazy back-logged. Sigh...I'm not looking forward to that pile-up. But that's what happens, I guess.
And of course, I get to work over the weekend now to prep the case for trial since I've had basically zero time to be in my office since getting back. Woo-hoo. Oh well, it is what it is.
I'm just hoping that this trial goes better than the last trial, which we lost (and I was pretty surprised by that loss, actually). So fingers crossed that this one will be a winner!

Oh, you fancy, huh?

This is Ward.  He's very fancy, clearly.  That's why he sits like a person on the couch and folds his arms.  He is my fat and fancy cat.  The last time we took him to the vet (YKW was with me, since we were also taking the other cat in, as well, and it's difficult to try to wrangle both the cats into their carriers all on your own.  Plus, YKW was paying for the vet bills, so he had to come with so he could pay), the vet told us, "Well, Ward's a little heavier than I'd like to see for a cat of his size.  He's thirteen pounds, which is a little on the heavy side."  Tell that to Fatty Cakes.  He never stops eating!


As lame as it is, I'm posting about my lovely kitty because Ward and the other one, Oscar (see photo below) have been my heroes lately.  They make me laugh when I'm sad, they cuddle me when I'm lonely, they greet me when I come home from work to my otherwise empty house, they listen to me when I talk, and they generally make me smile when I'm feeling cranky.  Sure, they are just cats--I know that.  But, they are loving, sweet, and funny and when I'm having one of those days where I just want to curl up into a ball and cry, seeing Ward sitting on the couch like he's a fancy gentleman is just the thing to crack me up.  


So, this is my tribute post to the males in my life who have been my constant companions and who always know how to make me smile--Ward and Oscar, my wonderfully awesome kitties. 

I'm totally in like Flynn

I survived the first week back, but just barely...  I was swamped when I got back and I spent several extra hours at work trying to play catch up.  Which is not exactly the most exciting way to come back from vacation, but whatever...


Next week is another massacre, especially at the beginning of the week.  Monday is MLK, Jr. day, so it's a holiday and I don't have to work/am not allowed to work w/o prior authorization from my boss.  So, that boots me to Tuesday as my first day next week and, like this last Tuesday, it's a damn disaster.  I have 6 hearings in the morning and 7 in the afternoon, for a 13 hearing day.  Slightly down from last Tuesday, which I suppose is an improvement.  But then on Wednesday, I've got 8 hearings, all scheduled at 1:30 p.m.  Well, that should certainly be interesting when I have 8 people all showing up at the same time wanting to talk to me...sigh.


So, work is back to being hellacious again.  It calmed down for awhile, which was nice.  It was still busy because it's never not busy.  But, it was manageable busy--occasionally I was running into jams where I felt like I wasn't going to be able to get something finished, but that wasn't nearly as common.  However, this last week, and my upcoming weeks, is back to being breakneck, rapid-fire, too-many-cases-on-at-the-same-time, grueling, exhausting hell.  It makes me wonder why I stick around sometimes.  Especially when this job is thankless, underpaid, has zero possibilities for raises because we're those scum-sucking, atrocious, awful government employees, and almost always has the threat of being laid off as a fun bonus. 

Yuck

This is what was waiting for me when I got back from vacation. Ew.

Overheard in Target

I almost forgot about this delightful conversation I overheard today while I was at Target: 


Mom: "Are you sure you're still going to want to use these notebooks and folders once he's not cool anymore?"
Youngish teenage girl: "Mo-om, he's Justin Bieber.  He's like THEE guy.  He's never not going to be cool."


Yeah...that's what I thought in 1997 about Hanson...but, like the saying goes, "In an mmmbop, they're gone...in an mmmbop, they're not there."

Welcome back to woooooork!!!!!

Well, starting tomorrow, my Christmas vacation is officially over.  Boooooo.  It was so relaxing to sit around and do nothing and watch marathons on TV.  Seriously, the holidays are the best time for TV marathons because the programmers must get lazy and just think, "Whatever, let's just play 36 hours straight of Law and Order: SVU.  No one's watching anyway..."  Except for me--I'm watching!  And I love it. 


Anywho (how's that for some Minnesota-speak?...you're welcome), I go back to work and back into court tomorrow.  However, tomorrow it's probably more appropriate to refer to it as The Gauntlet or The Seventh Circle of Hell.  Either of those would be accurate, I think. 

Things That Happen in Legal Dramas on TV/Movies That I've Never Actually Seen Happen in Real Life:

1. Prancing around the courtroom whenever the attorney wants.
2. Defense attorney present while the suspect rambles on and on and on.
3. Defense attorney asks for a three day continuance in the middle of trial and the judge just agrees to the continuance without batting an eye.
4. Just objecting without giving any reason for the objection.
5. The prosecutor using ridiculous and inflammatory arguments in the bail hearing, such as "the defendant is an accused baby killer." Even in the sticks, I've never seen anything close to that type of language fly in court out of a lawyer's mouth.
6. Prosecutor dismisses the case in the middle of trial.
7. Either attorney popping out evidence--in the middle of their line of questioning!--that the other side didn't know about because it wasn't disclosed.
8. Attorney pulls out a gun in the middle of trial.
9. Important legal discussions/decisions occurring in chambers and off the record and never in court or with a court reporter.
10. Judge asks the witness questions in the middle of a jury trial in front of the jury. (Ok I've actually seen this once and it was because the judge was curious how to pronounce the word "buccal" and asked the forensic examiner how to correctly say it after the attorneys were done with their questioning. But that wasn't related to the case and didn't prejudice one side or the other. And apparently, it's correct to say it as either "buckle" or "byoo-cull.")
I'll update this as I see more. There is a law and order marathon on right now, so I'm sure I'll see more.

Why not, right?

I only have to feed myself now, which is slightly depresso to grocery shop for one person, especially since I'm a non-perishable food-hoarder, thanks to growing up really, really poor and sometimes not having food in the house.  AND I have difficulty turning down a sale, since it's on sale!!  But, I only buy things on sale that I'd actually use, so I'm not like hoarding things unnecessarily.  I just always have this fear in my head that I'll starve to death if I don't stock up on non-perishable food items when I can afford to.  Given my childhood of not always having food, and the stint of time before I was employed at the PD's office when Hat (since I'm referring to a time in which he wasn't out of my life, I will call him Hat) and I were so poor that we could only afford to eat Ramen most days and sometimes that was too expensive and I hadn't had a vegetable in so long that I broke down crying, and my most recent problems with being able to afford things, including food, I'm always going to be somewhat of a food-hoarder, I suppose.  So, in my most recent trip to the grocery store, I went a little insane.  This was an actual photo of my grocery cart: 

In full vacation mode

Ok, so it's been a bit since I've been able to post anything, thanks to the fact that YKW came and took the computer out of the house.  That means I'm generally limited to posting from my phone, which gets a little tiring after awhile because the screen is so tiny.  But, occasionally, I can get in front of a real screen and a real computer, such as now.  So, I can finally blog on a normal sized keyboard!


So, it's 2012--whoooaaa!!  Crazy huh?  I can't believe that it's already 2012.  Clearly, 2011 sucked big time.  So, I'm hoping that 2012 will suck a whole lot less.  If not, I'm going to be pretty angry with 2012.  I might have to ground it if it doesn't deliver something awesome. 

Happy New Year

Here's hoping that 2012 is better than 2011...

Worst Christmas Ever

I got loneliness for Christmas. Phenoms.

What's the point of life if it only consists of surviving? What's the point of trying when nothing comes of it? 
It's time to go back to the girl I was before I met him. Closed-off, cynical, pessimistic, bitter, tough, slow to reveal my real self to people, and never, never, never letting anyone get too close. I let him get too close and I got burned.  Never again.

There will never be a next time

People tell me things like, "You'll get through this" and "Things will get better" and "You are a strong person and you can handle this."  But none of those things are helpful or true.  I don't believe that things get better. Things get different, but not better.  Life has always been trading one crap situation for another and this is no exception.

Seriously, those ASPCA commercials with Sarah McLachlan singing over a montage of photos of diseased animals are the worst advertising campaign ever. I can't even watch them. I just change the channel well before any information about how to donate comes on the screen.  Try again, ASPCA. With less diseased animals next time. Thanks.

Frightening reality

There was a shooting at a northern Minnesota courthouse yesterday afternoon.  The alleged gunman is a defendant who had just been convicted at trial and shot the county attorney three times, as well as shooting three other people.  The defendant's attorney ran to help the county attorney, who had been shot in the leg and in the stomach and was bleeding heavily.

This saddens me. I am in a courthouse nearly every day of the work week. My courthouse has bailiffs and technically has a moveable metal detector that occasionally will be plugged in and pushed into place so people (myself included) have to actually go through it, but 99.9% of the time, the detector is shoved aside, unplugged, and out of the way.  The reality is that something like this could happen easily in the courthouse I'm in almost every day, because people generally know each other, the court people know each other, it's just another day at work for most of us and we generally don't expect to be shot while at work.

I think about that defense attorney having to use a belt to cinch the county attorney's leg wound and the county attorney asking the defense attorney to make sure his wife knew he loved her and I get chills.  It's way, way, way too easy to imagine myself in a similar situation, tending to one of the prosecutors I work with all the time as they tell me to make sure their spouse knows they love them. It's really frightening and creepy.

Prayers go out to everyone impacted by this terrible event.

Dropped my phone in the toilet. Fml.

I'm not real

Supposedly time heals all wounds, but I don't think that's true.  I think time lets you know how to hide the pain or how to work around the pain, but doesn't actually heal the pain.  If I suddenly had a stabbing, throbbing, shooting, agonizing pain in my legs when I walked, I'd learn how to adjust and walk so as to lessen the pain on a daily basis.  But, the pain would still be there and it wouldn't take much--just a thoughtless misstep--to bring it back full force.  I think in some cases, the pain never stops being there.  We just learn how to maneuver around it so it doesn't hurt so bad every day.


I feel like that's what I've been doing lately--maneuvering around the pain.  I am very good at pretending I'm fine.  I'm so good in fact that people tell me quite often that they are amazed at how well I'm handling everything.  I go to work and I joke around and I laugh and I go out to lunch and I make my courtroom arguments and I smile and I do things as if nothing is wrong.  I go out with my friends and have a good time and laugh and get dressed up and enjoy my time.  But, underneath it all is the reality--I feel like I'm dying inside.

At least someone missed me

I'm being smothered by my cats since getting home this evening. They keep following me around the house and meowing and crawling on me the second I sit down and/or lay down. I take it they missed me a little...

Well it's nice to feel loved, even if it includes way more smothering than I'd go for.