:(

I've got many things to catch-up on, such as graduation, photos of me in my wedding dress, etc, etc. But it's late and I'm tired, so I'll only discuss one thing. And by "discuss" I mean I'll copy and paste a newspaper article and then complain momentarily about it and then go to bed. So, enjoy!

Public defenders are put on list of proposed budget cuts

Nearly one out of eight public defenders in Minnesota could be laid off over the next few months as part of a $4.7 million budget cut being considered by the Minnesota Board of Public Defense. The proposed cut, from a budget of $68 million, was announced Wednesday by John Stuart, the state public defender. The board, which provides and oversees legal representation to indigent clients, will meet June 5 to discuss the recommendation and other options for cutting costs.
Stuart said the proposed cuts would involve 61 full-time equivalent positions, or about 68 attorneys statewide.

"We've laid off people before, but never in these kinds of numbers," said Kevin Kajer, chief administrator for the Minnesota Board of Public Defense. Currently, about 525 attorneys are working as full- or part-time public defenders across Minnesota, handling about 170,000 cases a year, Stuart said.

In December 2007, the board put a freeze on the hiring of public defenders. Stuart said there are about 37 vacant positions that haven't been filled since then. He said that he didn't know where the additional cuts would be made but that all 87 counties would be affected. Some attorneys may take advantage of early retirement or temporary leave options, he said, but it is unlikely those numbers will be significant.

"It's a very difficult situation," board Chairwoman Laura Budd said. "We'll have to see what happens in the next week or so. But it's a problem -- it's a big problem for everyone." Stuart said the board operated at a $1.4 million deficit this fiscal year, which ends June 30. A projected deficit of $1.9 million for next year, coupled with the loss of $1.5 million in state funding for 2009 prompted the decision to cut jobs.

In most counties, funding for public defense work comes entirely from the state. However, in Hennepin County, the state and county share in the cost of providing the services. Almost 90 percent of the board's budget is tied up in salaries and benefits for employees, Stuart said. Another 7 percent goes to contractual expenses such as building rents and mileage.

The Board of Public Defense avoided major cuts several years ago when the state came up with money to avoid a projected $7.6 million budget paring. But Stuart said the current financial trouble is different. "I think the economy is in position now where everybody is more locked into hard times than we were five years ago," Stuart said. As more people "feel the grip of economic downturn," he added, it'll likely mean more business for public defenders.

But with fewer attorneys available, caseloads for public defenders are likely to increase significantly.

Wah-wah...this is bad, bad news bears for me. I should probably really start figuring out where I'm gonna get a job after I pass the bar, since clearly the state legislature isn't gonna give any money to public defense for jobs. Shitty. And depresso. I really, really love working at the PD's office and I'm not even sure where else to look for a job because anything non-criminal is boring and uninteresting and I didn't really enjoy prosecution much. And I would really like to avoid a job that I hate, since I already have one of those--and that job didn't cost me $150,00 in student loan debt!

Sigh...criminal law is just so awesome. It combines my love of interesting criminal law issues w/ my love of consititutional issues (ok, I know, I'm such a nerd it's actually ridiculous). The idea of venturing into say family law or property law or...shudder...corporate law makes me have the same reaction almost everyone else not in the legal world has--grossed out and bored to tears whenever someone starts talking about it.

I will fully admit that I find the law to be atrociously boring and dry and hideous and mind-numbing. I did not go to law school to be a lawyer--I went to law school to be a criminal law lawyer. I always knew that criminal law was the area for me and everything else could just suck it. That's partly why I didn't do too well my first year of law school. I didn't give two shits about contracts or property or torts because they weren't criminal law.

Sadly, I graduated at basically the worst possible time to be in need of a job. And criminal law is pretty much state funded--prosecution and PD all come out of state funds/county funds/etc. Which is not good again for me and my job hunting. I suppose I could try to crack into a private defense firm somewhere, but the two or three private defense attorneys I've met have been slimey and kind of made me want to bathe in acid after shaking their hands. One actually told me that he wasn't satisfied unless every other private defense attorney's children were hungry because he would steal all the business. Ok, whatever you weirdo. Not that all private defense attorneys are like that--I just don't know any yet that aren't like that. Plus, I can't help but feel a bit wigged out at the concept of stopping work on a case because someone didn't pay. Sure, that's important that they pay, but also, that criminal case is pretty important, too! I'm too much of a softie in that regard, I think.

In the end, perhaps going back to school is the best option for me. I can go back to school part-time and get some degree that won't stress me out, like an art major or something. I'll just sit there and draw soothing pictures of fruits and teapots and live off student loans until such time as the economy turns around and it's actually possible for a person to find a job in public defense. The other option, of course, is hooking. I'm pretty hot--I bet hooking would get me some decent money. Hat may initially have some problems w/ the idea, but he'll probably change his mind when he realizes that we can't afford groceries.

Or, perhaps, selling my Adderall could provide a temporary job solution. Of course, if I get caught, that's a federal offense, which would pretty much put an end to my law career that hasn't really even started yet. But, it can be pretty lucrative. Maybe if I was careful I could sell it for like two weeks and get a lot of money in those two weeks and then stop selling. That way I wouldn't have such a risk of getting caught. But how much does Adderall even go for these days?? I should ask around or something...I'm just way out of the loop w/ illegal drug pricing.

Man, I wish Professional TV Watcher or CEO of Naps were jobs. I'd be so amazing at those jobs! Or like a professional waster of time on the internet. Another good position for me.

Honestly now...who would ever think that w/ a doctorate level degree I'd have such terrible job prospects?? This is just ridiculous...

Now, it's time for bed. I've got to hone my skills for my "Pro Sleeper" profession.

Buzzwords and catchphrases make bad political tools

Yay California!! Way to strike down a statute banning same-sex marriage as unconstitutional! Hugs for all of those California SC justices (even though most of them were appointed by Republican govenors). And double hugs for the Govenator, who's stated that he will uphold the ruling and not support a constitutional ban to override the court's decision.

The court was very careful to point out that this ruling really only made sense in the California framework, because CA case law had previously held that when a statute is challenged by a targeted group, the courts had to look at all statutes that were relevant to that challenged group and how the state has traditionally treated that group. And considering CA had a domestic partnership statute for same-sex couples that gave them almost every single thing that married couples are allowed to have, the CA Supreme Court ruled that there was no basis for the statutory difference in the language between marriages and domestic partnerships. Separating the two, according to the court, was unconstitutional under CA's state constitution and so the statute is no good.

Now of course there is the obvious backlash against "activist judges" who would DARE to overturn a statute that was passed by the WILL of the people! How could these activist judges do such a terrible thing?

Well, because it's their job. That's what a supreme court does. Maybe it's because my brain has been involved in politics/law for the last 7-10 years of my life, but I have entirely no problem understanding why and how a supreme court could strike down a majority-favored law. That's what the supreme courts are specifically there to do. The judicial branch is meant to interpret the law and the most important law for supreme courts are state and federal constitutions. The constitutions are the ultimate laws of the land--for each state and for the nation as a whole. Therefore, the supreme courts, either state or federal, have one very important duty--making sure that any other law is not in violation of that ultimate law of the land. When a law is passed by a legislature that violates the constitution, then the supreme court(s) can say that that law is no good because it violates the constitution. That, boys and girls, is called "checks and balances."

I can't figure out if people forget that after high school government class or what happens along the way to adulthood that so many people freak the hell out when a court strikes down a law. It gets all these fancy names like "judicial activism" and "legislating from the bench." Really what the name of it is is "checks and balances" and "separation of powers." It's something that children learn, as seen on this website. It's not some crazy, cracked-out, power-hungry judges sitting up there figuring out how to dick the people out of their majority-favored laws. It's a group of people appointed to ensure that the laws that are passed comport with the constitutions in place. And sometimes laws that the majority likes are not in line w/ the constitutions, so the courts come in and screw up the majority's plans. I mean, hello--what the hell does everyone think the entire civil rights movement was about? "Judicial activism?" "Legislating from the bench?" Try again. It was the Supreme Court saying that the Jim Crow laws were in violation of the Constitution. And guess what? I'm sure that a majority of people in many states threw a shitfit about those rulings, because they didn't want some court overriding the majority decision. Oh well, too bad, so sad--if the majority doesn't fit in the bounds of the constitution, that's the breaks.

And yeah, you know what kind of sucks for majorities? That a group of seven or nine or whatever people who are not elected (in most cases) get all the power to throw out laws that the majority is in love with and there's no where else for the majority to turn to for help. If you're at the federal Supreme Court and they kick out your majority law, you're screwed. That's it for you. And generally so for state supreme courts, too. But, if people want to bitch and moan about those strange figures in black who aren't accountable to the people in any way, shape, or form, it's about time someone invented a time machine and go back to when the United States' government was being formed. Go talk to the Founding Fathers and convince them to make judges elected by the people or something. I don't know--whatever. The point is that the ability of the court to do this is something that's been around for essentially the entire time the government in existence and certainly since Marbury v. Madison in the early 1800s.

And guess what's amazing?? The majority still has a way of getting its will pushed through, even if the court has struck down its laws--it's called a constitutional amendment! Because, you see boys and girls, the courts must uphold the constitution, so the majority can just make the constitution match its will and then the courts will uphold it! That is, yet again, checks and balances. So the courts don't have this massive, uncontestable power to force their will upon the people. They can get smacked down too. It's a lovely little circle of power and restraint that our government has.

Somewhere along the line, many people seem to have forgotten this and they cry foul when a court does its job. And I just get confused. What else should the court do? Always go with whatever the majority wants? If that were the case, then we'd be seriously backwoods and sad, with separate water fountains and bathrooms for blacks and women would still be property of their husbands. Those were all things that the majority favored. And people flipped when the Court changed those things, but that was necessary. What's the point of having a constitution that says things like "equal protection" if the majority of people can just ignore it and do whatever they want? Of course, the majority is important. That's why there are branches of government like the legislature that represent the majority. But majority might doesn't make right, as we've often seen in our Nation's history.

Oh and people get so mad about judges "legislating from the bench," whatever the eff that's supposed to mean. Again, it's just a buzz-phrase to confuse and incite people to anger. Yeah, judges make law--just like they always have since before the United States were even formed! It's called common law and it's been around for ages. Judges/courts got to decide what the law was and then later courts would use those decisions and apply them to future cases. Judges and courts have always made law, so there's no sense in a phrase like "legislating from the bench." And there's still common law in place today. If there's a statute in place, then that controls. But if there's no statute then often courts default to common law. So, the courts have been making laws for time on end and we're all ok w/ those types of laws.

It's stupid phrases and buzzwords like "judical activism" and "legislating from the bench" that stifle real understanding and discussion about issues. If people actually were informed about why a court can do exactly what the California Supreme Court did and what the majority can do if it chooses to, then perhaps a real, informed grou of citizens would emerge in our country. Rather than spew rhetoric and try to get everyone riled up, why don't groups that oppose California's decision just explain that they will be trying to get an amendment passed that defines marriage as one man and one woman? All the CA Supreme Court said was that the current statute that created two separate institutions for heterosexuals and homosexuals was in violation of the state constitution. That's not really all that judicially active. So, go be a part of your government as a citizen and change it if you don't like it. Stop w/ the pointless drivel that doesn't do anything but piss everyone off.

This happens all the time in politics and law and it's completely useless and it's why we have a tiny group of people who basically run everything. People aren't informed about things and are fed buzzwords and inflammatory statements to ingnite anger. They aren't rationally given information about issues and allowed to come to a decision about things. And when things are explained to people, they tend to be a lot more rational and logical.

For example, returning to the same-sex marriage issue again, since that's what I started w/ at the beginning. I've met many people who are opposed to same-sex marriage without really knowing the underlying issues. People don't realize that when two people are married, they get to have rights that most people will take for granted. Sometimes these are because they are rights that aren't really used that often (or one would hope not!) such as the right to sue for a wrongful death or the right to make end of life decisions for a partner. Sometimes these are rights that are so commonly used that people just don't think about them, like being on a spouse's health insurance or filing for taxes jointly. Things like inheritance come into play or child support or alimony. Things like being admitted to the ICU when it's family only for visitors comes into play. These are not things that are talked about when the whole "gay marriage" issue is debated. But, when asked if they would want someone to be denied admission to see their partner of 50 years in the ICU to say goodbye to them, almost no one is so heartless as to say THAT is what they want when they say they are opposed to gay marriage. Most people are much more willing to grant some kind of legal rights for homosexuals and most people are much more willing to be reasonable when they are informed about those types of issues that are not discussed in the gay marriage debate. In my experience, most people have a decent heart about these things--those opposed to gay marriage tend to be so because of religious affiliation, but they aren't out to blocks gays from seeing their partners in the hospital or allow them to inherit from their partner. But, no one ever talks about the real issues in the debates--it's always catchphrases like "the sanctity of marriage" and "preserving traditional marriage" without any discussion about why homosexuals want to be married. It's not JUST for the sake of being married, but no one ever talks about that. No one ever wants to actually discuss things because then we might realize we can agree on a lot more things than we'd like to admit.

Real discussion and debate just gets stifled and cut off in this country and so we have a nation of uninformed citizens whose passions are stoked by political pundits (on both sides!). And thus, nothing ever gets done, because no one understands the real issues because no one bothers to mention them. We need better information in this country, so that stupid things like accusing the CA Supreme Court of being way out of line by doing its job don't occur as often.

I think I'm dying

Omg, I feel horrible. I have no idea what's going on but I basically want to curl up into a ball and die. Because it sort of feels like my insides are dying already.

I woke up this morning to head on over to the jail for today's jail calendar. My stomach vaguely hurt and I chalked it up to being hungry. I'm usually starving in the morning, so I figured today would be no exception. So, I ate a delicious bowl of Count Chocula and a banana.

Mmm, delicious....and my stomach calmed down somewhat. I figured I was right and that the vaugely upset/rolly feeling was just hunger that was now abated.

And then, about 30 minutes later, things took a turn for the terrible. I was almost completely ready to leave the house. I was pulling my suit pants out of the closet when I felt my stomach completely turn over inside my belly. I paused. Then, I was struck by probably the most painful stomach cramp I've ever experienced. I rushed to the bathroom in time to barf up my breakfast. Not so delicious now.

Then, the rolling stopped, so I slowly walked back over to the closet, thinking that I'd be ok now that I'd vacated the hideous contents of my stomach. But no. A few minutes later, I was yet again hugging the toilet. And subsequently have been all morning long. And it's now noon. That's like 4 hours of on and off barfing. Plus, I'm exhausted and I've got the chills really badly. And the terrible stabbing, shooting, cramping pains are still going strong. I'm wondering if I've got food poisoning from something I ate yesterday or something like that. I've never had food poisoning but if this is it, this is horrible. I kind of think I might be dying and my insides are turning into mush or something.

I'm going to go die now. Hopefully, I'll feel better tomorrow...

New hair

I'm reclaiming my redheaded-ness today. I've been unable to afford to dye my hair for several months and so my hair has actually returned to its normal color. It hasn't been its normal color since about 8th grade. And now, I'm finally going back to my (fake) roots--red!!!




I was always majorly disappointed that I wasn't born with gorgeously reddish brown hair and instead ended up with mousey plain brown hair. Bleh...so I just decided to make myself a redhead and have been doing so ever since.




Here's my before photos:

And here's my box of magic. Of course, the color on the box is NEVER the color that it ends up when I'm all finished. It always is darker than the box. But, I figured it would be red enough.

And here's the after shots:

Not nearly as red as I'd hoped, but it'll do. Under the right lights it's exceptionally red. Sigh...I guess I'll just have to settle for brown w/ a reddish tone...

Done done done done done done done done!

Done done done done done done done done done done done!!!!!!

Totally all done w/ my law school finals! For-ev-er! Imagine me doing a dance of excitement. No more finals ever! Score.

I'm a Death Machine

Hat and I decided not to be boring like we normally are and we actually went out tonight. We went out to dinner and then bowling. As we were leaving the bowling alley, I saw that there were games that you play for tickets, so I had to go play some. I love those types of games since my dad and I used to spend hours playing them when he'd come to visit me. So, Hat and I dumped a whole $4 on them and ended up w/ 106 tickets (P.S. I kick major ass at those games from years of practice). Then we brought our tickets over to the redemption center and we then redeemed them for a Chinese throwing star (awesome!) and a growing pirate (double awesome!). And then, of course, we went home and showed off our killer ninja skills. Here's a demonstration...careful, it's pretty amazing, so don't die of fright (or awe):


Here's the awesome throwing star. Be amazed at its (plastic) fierceness.

Hat totally being all ninja and hardcore.

This is ninja practice, since you can see our faces. And in real ninja combat, we'd be wearing our gear and shit.

It also serves as a kick-ass monocle.

Time for ninja stealth. That's right--I'm a pink ninja. So eat it.

I'ma fuck you up!

I'm like the prettiest pink ninja ever. And serious. I'll cut you with my star!

Most importantly, you can CLEARLY see it's authentic because CHINA is stamped...err, engraved...right on it.

Here's Hat's attempt at ninjaing. Clearly, I'm better, but he's giving it a good shot.

We're awesome.

Oops.

Had my second to last final ever today. Suffering from a severe case of senioritis, I barely studied. Got into the test and on question two, I knew this wasn't going to be good. It asked me, "Identify the members of the 'Gang of 8' and what their role is in the covert-actions process." My thought immediately was: "What the hell is the 'Gang of 8?' That doesn't even sound vaguely familiar. Aw, crap."

It's never a good sign when you don't even recognize that that was a topic of the class. Oh well. It's over, so que serra, serra.

Hat is so way too good for me. Lucky for me, he doesn't realize that.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how awesome Hat is and how grateful I am to have him in my life and inevitably, I can't help but think that he is really getting shafted in this deal. It's like, in my head I start maiking a list of benefits I get from our relationship and benefits he gets and his list is incredibly abysmal. And I just look at him and think about what an amazing person he is because he sticks around, despite all the crap that he deals w/ being w/ me.

For example, Hat gets a partner who is saddled w/ $200K+ in debt and zero job prospects. Hat has paid our rent in full every month since January because my money situation is so tight. He never complains, he never once asked me to cut back on my hours at the PD's office and find something (anything!) that pays me, he's never asked me to work more at the pharmacy or try to find some other way of bringing in more income--he's just allowed me to focus on school and getting as much experience as I can at the PD's office and working on my future career (despite the fact that currently it looks as if there's not much out there for jobs in my career). He's never once complained or expressed any sort of worry about our future given the fact we're going to be starting out w/ roughly a house payment in student loan bills. He just goes to work 6 days for 50 hours a week and takes care of our debts. The only thing I even contribute to the household anymore is groceries and TV. I used to contribute much more, but Hat just stepped up and took on more when things got tight. He's never once questioned me about it--he just did it.

In the reverse, I get someone who is wiling to pay a majority of our living expenses and who lets me continue working at my unpaid internship that I love, instead of asking me to get a paying part-time job. I get someone who takes on the financial responsibilities almost completely so I can just focus on school and whatnot. I basically get a partner who takes care of me and my needs.

I also get someone who puts up with all my medical problems and who never gets upset with me about the crazy things that come with them. I get someone who is caring and concerned about my health and well-being, even when I'm grumpy and/or psycho. I get someone who picks up my medication on his way home from work and who brings me a drink and my pills when I'm too tired to get up or I've already fallen asleep.

On the other hand, Hat gets a crazy psycho crying insane woman for the rest of his life, who's thyroid problem means she has crying episodes for no reason and she's constantly cold so he gets cold feet on him all the time. He also gets angry outburts fueled by suspicions derived completely in his partner's head. He gets to deal with a few months of normalcy when the medication is right, but he can count that after a few months, the crazy will be back again when the medication slowly but surely is no longer the right dose. He gets someone who is constantly worn out and falling asleep and sometimes talking to him while asleep (and fighting w/ him while asleep on rare occasions, although I never remember any of it). He gets to be with someone who falls asleep while he's kissing her (yep--that's happened. That's gotta be good for the male ego...). He gets someone with constant migraines that mean she's cranky and unable to do much other than lay in a dark, quiet room and wait for the pain to go away, even if they had plans or things to do.

I get a live-in chef who does all the dishes. He gets someone who's often too busy to even pick up the living room or do her own laundry.

I get someone who has helped me through 3 years of law school. He gets someone who's going through three years of law school!

I get someone who always pays when we go out to eat or to see a movie. He gets to always pay for someone else.

I get someone who's patient, optimistic, social, easy-going, and warm. He gets someone who's impatient, irritable, pessimistic, cynical, anti-social and reclusive, rigid, uptight, and extremely Type-A.

The list just goes on and on. I think about all the wonderful things he does for me, financially, emotionally, mentally, and I think, what is it that he gets from me in return? I mean, honestly? He says he thinks I'm really funny (which, let's be honest...I am) and that I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen (ok, that's probably true too) but there's lots of funny and beautiful girls out there. And it's not like there's not other girls interested in him--there's like 4 at his work alone! So I don't know what I did to get so lucky to have him, but I am sure glad that he's around. I try to tell him all the time how wonderful he is but he just shrugs it off because he says it's all part of being together. I know he's crazy in love with me, since he tells me all the time, but I can't help but wonder why sometimes. He's definitely too good for me, even if he doesn't believe it when I tell him that.

I think he should have known right from the start that he would probably be in for some craziness with me, though. I mean, it was only about two or three weeks after we met that RN was hit by a car and had her brains scrambled. We'd been on maybe 5-7 dates and suddenly I'm dealing w/ one of my best friends being in a coma. That probably should have been his omen. And if not that, maybe the fact that three days later, when he was trying to take me out to get some food since I hadn't eaten due to stress, I puked down the side of his dad's Cadillac that he was driving. Yeah...he probably should have just called it quits at that point. That's really never a good sign for a new relationship. Oh well. Lucky for me he's just too nice and now, we're getting married and he's stuck with me forever! And I did give him one last chance to get out--right before we mailed the deposit for our ceremony location, I said, "Ok, this is your last chance. This deposit's non-refundable. You still wanna do it?" But, he didn't take his last chance out of a future with me, Ms. Crazy Health Problems and Debt Pants. And now, I've got him for good!

I totally scored big time on that one. Yessssss!