Saturday, December 31, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
It's time to go back to the girl I was before I met him. Closed-off, cynical, pessimistic, bitter, tough, slow to reveal my real self to people, and never, never, never letting anyone get too close. I let him get too close and I got burned. Never again.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
Friday, December 16, 2011
There was a shooting at a northern Minnesota courthouse yesterday afternoon. The alleged gunman is a defendant who had just been convicted at trial and shot the county attorney three times, as well as shooting three other people. The defendant's attorney ran to help the county attorney, who had been shot in the leg and in the stomach and was bleeding heavily.
This saddens me. I am in a courthouse nearly every day of the work week. My courthouse has bailiffs and technically has a moveable metal detector that occasionally will be plugged in and pushed into place so people (myself included) have to actually go through it, but 99.9% of the time, the detector is shoved aside, unplugged, and out of the way. The reality is that something like this could happen easily in the courthouse I'm in almost every day, because people generally know each other, the court people know each other, it's just another day at work for most of us and we generally don't expect to be shot while at work.
I think about that defense attorney having to use a belt to cinch the county attorney's leg wound and the county attorney asking the defense attorney to make sure his wife knew he loved her and I get chills. It's way, way, way too easy to imagine myself in a similar situation, tending to one of the prosecutors I work with all the time as they tell me to make sure their spouse knows they love them. It's really frightening and creepy.
Prayers go out to everyone impacted by this terrible event.
Tuesday, December 06, 2011
Thursday, December 01, 2011
I feel like that's what I've been doing lately--maneuvering around the pain. I am very good at pretending I'm fine. I'm so good in fact that people tell me quite often that they are amazed at how well I'm handling everything. I go to work and I joke around and I laugh and I go out to lunch and I make my courtroom arguments and I smile and I do things as if nothing is wrong. I go out with my friends and have a good time and laugh and get dressed up and enjoy my time. But, underneath it all is the reality--I feel like I'm dying inside.