Awesome

Not guilty.
My two favorite words.

Trial machine

Friday: win award for most jury trials in 2012.
Tuesday: start jury trial

Okay, seriously...

Ugh...so, my book is on sale for free through today, apparently. Because when Amazon said Oct. 27 & 28, it really meant Oct. 28 & 29. Glad that is cleared up.

So, in bonus news, if you still want to get a copy, it's still on sale for free through today!

Ugh...

Amazon lied and said my book would be free this weekend but apparently it's not...sorry about that. Stupid technology...

My book is FREE this weekend only!

Still need to get your copy of my book, "They Call Me Ninja Fireballs?"  Well, this weekend there's a free promotion and you can get your very own copy for the low, low price of FREE!  So, snatch it while you can, because the promotion starts Saturday and ends Sunday. 

Awwww, yeah!!!

And now, here's this stuff

I got the "corrected" divorce paperwork today.  Guess what?  Still not correct.  Including--once again--my name.  Even after notifying YKW's attorney that there were errors, there are still errors.  This is never going to be over...ugggghhhhh...  Again, this just continues to drag on and on and on and on...can it just be over?!?!  I just want this to be over... 

gross

So apparently, cats fart.

I've recently learned this fun fact because Hubert has suddenly started to reek.  I switched food for the cats recently since my mom had a ton that her cat wouldn't eat, so she gave it to me to see if my cats would eat it.  And they have been. They seem to like it. And it was free, so bonus!

Except that now Hubert keeps dropping these horrible stink bombs every day. He'll curl up next to me in bed, purring and being all cute and tiny and baby-like (since he is only about 5 months old now), and then suddenly it will smell like death. They are totally silent but they are the worst thing I've ever smelled. I had no idea cats farted. But holy crap, it's terrible.

So, whatever brand of food this is, we are not using this again. Otherwise I might die from the stench.

That takes a bit of the sting of losing out

I had a contested hearing today. My staff and I worked pretty hard on it (which means my staff did like 98% of the work and then handed all of it to me so I look like I'm on my game in court...man, I freaking LOVE support staff!). But, we didn't win. And of course, that's always at least a little disappointing. It's disappointing even when you know you've haven't got a snowball's chance in hell. Because there is always that tiny part of you that thinks, "Well, maybe..."  I've heard it referred to as trial delusion, since it happens a lot during trial. But I digress...
At any rate, so lost the hearing, which was disappointing, of course. But, my client wanted to talk after the hearing so I met w/ him, thinking he had questions or something. Nope, he just wanted to tell me thank you. And thank you to my staff. He said he knew we had worked hard on the hearing and he was really grateful for the effort we put into it.
Losing sucks, of course, but nothing makes me feel like the work I do matters than when someone says thank you. Especially when we don't get the result that we were hoping for. Because it's easy to be thankful for the attorney who gets the outcome you are hoping for, but it isn't always easy to be pleased when you don't get the result you wanted. So, when clients who don't get the outcome we were aiming for tell me thank you, it means a hell of a lot. And it feels good to give a voice to someone who otherwise may not have one.
And, even the judge said during the hearing (twice!) that I had done a nice job and that I had made compelling arguments. So even though we didn't win, my client felt well-represented and the court acknowledged the work that was put into building my argument. It's nice to know that whether I'm winning or losing, others around me notice when I do good work. It's really stuff like that that makes this job rewarding. Win or lose, I always hope my clients feel like there was someone there to fight for them and to put effort into helping them. And I hope that others recognize the time and effort I put into my cases, trying to be the best advocate I can be and learning how to be a smart and prepared attorney.
It's amazing how much a simple "thank you" can really touch my heart. Especially when it is coming from a client who didn't get the outcome we had hoped for. It takes a bit of the sting out of losing.

Delicious chicken salad

I love this recipe so I am going to share it/have it somewhere that I can find it again. Don't ask me for specific quantities or measurements...this is a recipe that Hat showed me/used to make for me and he never uses measurements.

One can of chicken breast (I use the canned chicken because I'm lazy. You can use chicken that you cook and shred if you want)
1/3 cup mayo
1/3 cup plain yogurt
Chopped green onions
Finely shredded white cheese
Lemon juice-a couple squeezes
Salt
Pepper
Curry seasoning
Old Bay seasoning
Craisins
Cashews

Combine chicken, mayo, and yogurt. Mix well. Add in onions and mix well. Add salt, pepper, and seasonings and mix all together (add this stuff till it tastes good to you). Add the cheese and craisins and mix together. Do not add in the cashews-they will get soggy and gross within a day. Spread the salad on the bread and add a layer of cashews on top before adding the second slice of bread. Tada!

It tastes delicious the first day and even better after the first day when the flavors have time to meld. Mmmmmmmm...

Damn Science...stay out of my job!

During a training today, we discussed forensic science and the need for us, as lawyers, to learn how to understand it.

Damnit! I became a lawyer because I suck at math and science and I have no head for those subjects.  I don't want to have to know science!  I just wanna stand around a courtroom and say, "blah blah blah blah, lawyer-things, big words, big words, yakity yak yak." Now I'm supposed to know science?!

Science, stay in your own field. Quit making me have to learn you!

Double digits!

To date, twelve copies of my book have sold. I'm pretty excited about that. And it's not just people I know, so that is extra cool. I expected like my mom to buy it and that would be it. I didn't expect people to buy it. I just wanted to accomplish something. But people buying it is very exciting!

People I do know say it's really funny. I'm glad to know people think it's funny bc I was worried that it would only be funny to me. It's rather hard to know for sure if what you're writing reads as funny as intended. So I was nervous. But so far, it seems like I did ok.

Proposed change in the laws

I have a pet peeve about current laws re: restraining orders.  If someone has a  restraining order against you, say your former lover who you still have feelings for, you are barred from any interaction w/ them.  Even if they decide they miss you and so they drop in at your home or give you a call. 

The common scenario I run into is a cranky person who abuses the order by only calling police to report a violation when they aren't getting their way in the relationship. They lie and say they had the order dropped or they lull the other person into a false sense of security that they won't report violations since they want contact.

I have even seen cases where the person with the order was calling the guy, inviting him over, and sleeping with him! But when he biked by and waved to her, THEN she called the police. Dumb!

So here is my proposed change to the law. A restraining order implies that someone doesn't want to interact with the other person. So how about the law include an affirmative defense that they initiated contact and thus nullified the order? That way, people who really need the protection, who don't want any contact, are protected still but the law can't be used as a tool for a disgruntled mate.

Just saying.

I know what you're really asking...

"How long have you been practicing?" = "Are you  even old enough to be my lawyer?"

My book is published and ready for the world

Here it is.

My book is done!

My book is officially finished!!

It's currently being reviewed for formatting, etc. by Amazon.com and then it will be available for purchase in approximately 12 hours.  

Nothing more to say

The divorce papers came in the mail.

Things, things, things

My book is coming along at a quick clip. I'm hoping it should be done within the next few weeks. Then it will be ready to make its debut.
I'm actually pretty proud of myself for really taking the time to do the work and write a book. Even if no one reads it, at least I did it. I wrote an entire book. So I can cross that off my bucket list when it's finished.
In other news, work has been busy. A lot of contested hearings lately but those are actually pretty fun. I like those. They are like mini-trials but without the hassle of a jury and with much looser rules. And they only take like an hour, instead of several days. The only thing I don't like is having to write a brief afterwards. That isn't really all that fun. But, that's okay.
I think my medicine for my hypersomnia needs to be adjusted again. It's been like 6 or 7 years since the last adjustment. But lately I've been feeling really, really tired again during the day and I'm having trouble doing sedentary activities without falling asleep.  Reading, watching tv, etc. are all starting to become nap sessions, just like in the past. So I have an appt in October with my sleep specialist and I'm guessing I'll need to have my medication levels tweaked. The only concern is that I'm already at a very high dose (80 mgs of Adderall each day) and my specialist doesn't like to put people on any higher dose than 100 mgs/day.  So there isn't much room to adjust. Plus what happens if/when the new dose stops being as effective? I'm only 29. I've got many years left where I will need to be awake and on medication of some kind. What happens if I'm at the top of what can be prescribed? That makes me nervous. I guess technically I can try to work my schedule around my disorder, because it does qualify as a disability.  So my job has to make reasonable accommodations for my disability, which in my case would mean allowing me time to take a nap during the day.  My office has already cleared me for that (although so far I haven't had to use it real often) but I doubt that that would work very well for scheduling court hearings. My sleepiest time of the day is about 1:00-3:00 p.m., which is when a majority of afternoon hearings are scheduled.  So taking a nap during that time would not work at all. 
Hopefully that won't become an issue. I'm hoping that the specialist can adjust my medications so that they keep me awake and alert during the day like they used to do.  That would be ideal. So fingers crossed that that can happen.
Other than that, life is pretty mundane. Same sh*t, different day, as they say. The cats and I are basically just hanging out, doing what we do (which is being killer amazing, of course). Nothing else to report for now.

One Year

Today marks the one year anniversary of when YKW told me he wanted a divorce.  Today is the one year mark of the saddest moment of my life. 

One year ago, I could barely breathe because the pain I was in was so intense it was a physical thing.  I bawled every night before bed, hard enough to give myself a headache.  One year ago, I wanted to die just to give my poor heart a reprieve from the agony of losing him.  At times the pain was so overwhelming that I thought I actually might die from heartache.  One year ago, I could not imagine a life without him. I could not imagine ever being happy again.  One year ago, I thought my life was over.  And it came close on many occasions, when I felt like I just could not go on even one more minute.

I wish I could say that I'm 100% better than one year ago. That I picked myself up and never looked back. I wish I could say I never shed anymore tears for him, that I don't care at all about him, and that I'm happier without him.

But, I can't say any of those things. None of those things are true.

What I can say is that, while I do still cry about him (sometimes very hard), those sessions are now much more rare. While I still have days where things feel awful, I have been able to have many happy times.  I can laugh again, and pretty much do every day.  I can have fun again.  While I still care about him and still love him, I don't feel like I need him anymore--just want.  Not need.  While I can't say I'm happier without him, I can say that I have been able to find happiness without him.

I do look back. I do think about what we had and it still makes me sad to have lost him.  My heart is not okay yet.  But, it's trying to be.

Would I feel happier if he said he loved me and wanted to try to work on out marriage? Probably.  He still has my heart, right or wrong.  Would my preference be that we would be together again? Yes. I'd prefer that.  But, even without those things being true, I can still have days that are good and fun and enjoyable.  I can be okay.

We are still married.  He has not yet filed the paperwork for the divorce.  A part of my heart continues to hope that if we aren't divorced, then maybe we can still make things work.  I don't know if it will ever be true or if it's wishful thinking.

I'm grateful for the people who have surrounded me in love and thoughts and prayers over the last year. I have felt more love and care as I have walked this dark path than I ever have in my life.  When I have been too tired to keep going, when my legs have collapsed beneath me, when the desire to keep going has left me, when even the desire to eat has disappeared, when I have fallen under the weight of this emotional burden, when I have felt alone in my grief, people were there to pick me back up, to carry me, to feed me, to help me walk, to grieve with me, to be my strength when I had none left, to take care of me when I didn't care. The love and support I have been surrounded by has been more than I could have ever expected. I would never have survived without the people who have been there for me.

Am I 100% better? No. I'm not even sure I could say that I'm 50% better. But, I am sure that I will get there eventually. And that is much more than I could say one year ago.

Look what I can do!

I can sew stuff.  Like this dress: 

You can tell it's homemade if you look at the part that I totally messed up when I was doing the lining right by the zipper in the back.  Good thing it's just the lining and it's not visible from the outside at all. 

I was pretty pumped that this turned out!  I wanted it to look like it wasn't handmade because I always think that's the litmus test to determine if something is well-made.  If no one can tell it's homemade, then I did a good job on it. 

So far, I've made 2 dresses that are done decently enough so that I don't think they are obviously handmade.  I'm moving on to a suit jacket next.  We'll see if I can make that turn out...that seems much harder.  Because it has sleeves...