The Adrian Peterson situation and the problem with prejudging

So, as basically everyone has heard, Vikings football player Adrian Peterson has been indicted by a Texas grand jury on child abuse charges. Initially, he was deactivated from the team & prevented from playing in one game this past Sunday; the team owners then reactivated him to play on Mondaywhile the criminal case worked its way through the court system. The Radisson pulled its sponsorship of the entire Vikings team as a result of the indictment. Nike & Wheaties also severed ties with Peterson. On Tuesday, Minnesota Governor Mark Dayton weighed in on the situation, calling Peterson's alleged actions "a public embarrassment" & while providing lip service to the idea of innocent until proven guilty, said that the Vikings should have continued Peterson's suspension until the court case was finished. Senator Al Franken also called for Peterson's suspension to be reinstated. Finally, on Wednesday, the Vikings reversed course under the media & political pressure & placed Peterson on the exempt list, meaning he must stay away from the team.

This is all the result of an accusation. Not a conviction. Not a verdict of guilty or an admission of committing a crime. An accusation.

"Free speech" doesn't mean you can be an asshole without repercussions

Let's play a game I like to call "civics lesson."  This is where we discuss things that the general public should have learned in school in civics class, but apparently either forgot it or never learned it. 

Today's game centers around the First Amendment and specifically, the right to freedom of speech.  As you may have heard, some guy on that stupid show "Duck Dynasty" made some assy remarks about black people and gay people. Then he got suspended from the show. 

First of all, I don't care at all about that show or that guy. That show looks stupid as hell to me and I have less than zero interest in watching it.  The only reason I would even mention it in my blog is because it's caused so many people to say "But the TV network is violating his right to free speech by suspending him!" (I'm looking your way, Sarah Palin...)  Which is 1,000,000% wrong.  And it's driving me a little crazy, so I think we should discuss. 

Zombies and Martha Stewart

Guys, I'm running!

Ok, not exactly...but sort of... I found this phone app called Zombies, Run! 5k training. So I decided to check it out. I've done two of the missions (which is what they call workouts). The story has me training inside the base camp in order to be able to go out into the zombie infested world and grab supplies for the survivors. So no zombies yet, since I'm still inside the camp. But, I like this so far because the woman who talks to me through my headphones says things like, "Run slowly" and "Don't push yourself." I can totally get on board with that. I'm awesome at not pushing myself, especially when it comes to exercise. And you can add in your own playlist of music, so the "incoming transmissions" just pop in around your music. In my case, I listened to an episode of "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" with Martha Stewart as the guest. She is surprisingly funny. And apparently she loves both Spam and Velveeta (both make me gag).

Also, did you know she dated Anthony Hopkins? And that she broke up with him because she couldn't stop seeing him as Hannibal Lechter? I found that hilarious.

I'm not even going to deny it

I freaking love "Thrift Shop" by Macklamore.
I find it awesome to hear a rap about shopping at Goodwill, since most rappers talk about how rich they are and how much bling they have.

Actual conversation

Me: Just because they have a biological specimen doesn't mean that they can pull a useable DNA sample from it.
Other attorney: Really? I didn't know that. Where did you learn that?
Me: CSI.

Here's What I Don't Get...

Nude pantyhose.
Why? Why even bother? It's not like nylons are the epitome of comfort. If it just looks like your leg, then why  wear them? I mean, at least the tan ones make it look like you aren't all pastey, but, nude? Really? Why are those even a thing?
Seriously. I've never understood this.
And do not even get me started on nylons with open-toed shoes... That should be a felony punishable by having Clint and Stacy from What Not to Wear judge you on your poor fashion choices.

Fun Fact:

According to the Words with Friends dictionary, "jews" is not a word.  "Dildo" is a valid word, however. 

Because that makes sense. Clearly.

I may be a little late to the party on this, but my current new favorite jam is "What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger)" by Kelly Clarkson. Talk about a perfect anthem for me right now. In case you aren't familiar with it, the chorus is:

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger,
Stand a little taller,
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone.

What doesn't kill you makes a fighter,
Footsteps even lighter,
Doesn't mean I'm over 'cause you're gone."

I listened to it like 8 times in a row today. Makes me feel all pumped up and powerful. What husband? Ha!

Things That Happen in Legal Dramas on TV/Movies That I've Never Actually Seen Happen in Real Life:

1. Prancing around the courtroom whenever the attorney wants.
2. Defense attorney present while the suspect rambles on and on and on.
3. Defense attorney asks for a three day continuance in the middle of trial and the judge just agrees to the continuance without batting an eye.
4. Just objecting without giving any reason for the objection.
5. The prosecutor using ridiculous and inflammatory arguments in the bail hearing, such as "the defendant is an accused baby killer." Even in the sticks, I've never seen anything close to that type of language fly in court out of a lawyer's mouth.
6. Prosecutor dismisses the case in the middle of trial.
7. Either attorney popping out evidence--in the middle of their line of questioning!--that the other side didn't know about because it wasn't disclosed.
8. Attorney pulls out a gun in the middle of trial.
9. Important legal discussions/decisions occurring in chambers and off the record and never in court or with a court reporter.
10. Judge asks the witness questions in the middle of a jury trial in front of the jury. (Ok I've actually seen this once and it was because the judge was curious how to pronounce the word "buccal" and asked the forensic examiner how to correctly say it after the attorneys were done with their questioning. But that wasn't related to the case and didn't prejudice one side or the other. And apparently, it's correct to say it as either "buckle" or "byoo-cull.")
I'll update this as I see more. There is a law and order marathon on right now, so I'm sure I'll see more.

Seriously, those ASPCA commercials with Sarah McLachlan singing over a montage of photos of diseased animals are the worst advertising campaign ever. I can't even watch them. I just change the channel well before any information about how to donate comes on the screen.  Try again, ASPCA. With less diseased animals next time. Thanks.

Excellent Monday

Well, as far as Mondays go, this one was pretty good.  And for those of you who aren't from Minnesota, when a Minnesotan says something is "pretty good," that means it's excellent.  If something is actually pretty good, then we will say it was "not bad."  

Today started off with a jury trial that I knew was not going to go to trial.  One, because someone else was going to trial and two, because my client had indicated that he wasn't really into having a trial if it could be avoided.  So, I had already talked to the prosecutor about giving my client a continuance for dismissal on his case, which he agreed to.  So, my client's felony case is now a continuance for dismissal, which is awesome.  Especially awesome because that prevents him from getting in trouble with immigration courts because, as I have found out since Padilla, everything gets you deported whether you are here legally or illegally.  Even two petty misdemeanor shoplifting tickets can be enough to get you deported.  It's a bit extreme.  So, the continuance helps my client out with that, too. 

Then, at my next hearing for the day, where my client had a pretty serious drug charge, I managed to get her bail reduced by 90%--a rare feat in most of my cases.  I was pretty surprised that the court went ahead and reduced the bail.  I had prepared my client to not be surprised if they found themselves with the same bail or such a slight reduction that it made no difference.  So when the bail was reduced that significantly, I was pretty surprised and my client was understandably pretty happy. 

My last hearing of the day was a misdemeanor.  It's a rather classic situation:  the allegations are that my client caught their partner with someone else, so they alleged beat the someone else up.  It's too bad that "they deserved it" isn't a defense sometimes, you know?  But, my client had no criminal history and the allegations lined up for some pretty awesome facts for us at trial, since I think I'd have a good shot at getting at least one person on our side with that kind of scenario.  So, I asked the prosecutor if he'd go for a continuance for dismissal and--bam!--he did!  Two for two in one day on the continuances for dismissal!  So, again my client was very happy about the outcome.

Oh, yeah, and I have hot new hair since I dyed it this weekend.  So, I was looking supa-fly.  But, that's pretty much a given. 

So, overall, a pretty sweet Monday.  

Sidenote--it's come to my attention that, given my extreme dislike for regular pants (sooo uncomfortable and constricting!!), I will at some point in time need to break down and buy myself a pair of pajama jeans.  Shameful?? Maybe a bit.  But, if they really do look like real jeans, that would make them less shameful than the Snuggie, (of which I own three!!) since it wouldn't be immediately apparent that it was that thing from TV.  It'll happen eventually.  When it does, I'll be sure to let you all know if they are as magical as they seem.