Oh Law & Order: SVU, you're so silly

I love L&O:SVU but sometimes they are so off-base it's silly. This particular episode is ridiculously full of errors it's insanity.
1. Judge sustained an objection for leading on cross-exam. In real life, leading questions are the whole point of cross-exam.
2. Just as the judge in criminal court was about to accept a plea bargain, a lawyer who represented the victim walked in and handed the judge a restraining order from civil court barring the judge from accepting the plea and ordering all the criminal court parties (including the judge) to appear in civil court the next day. Say whaaaaaaaaa? That makes zero sense! For one, it would be an injunction, not a restraining order, or possibly a writ of prohibition, but not a restraining order. For two, what the what? A judge who isn't a higher court judge ordering another judge how to do their job? Not happening.
Oh, silly script writers...maybe ask a lawyer about stuff...

Here is what I did this weekend

So, my step-dad went back in the hospital again and then back out. It's an ongoing debacle with his health right now. Blood too thick, then too thin, clots, pneumonia, necrotic section of his lung...it's a mess. But he is hanging on, so that is good. But he looks terrible. He is definitely struggling.
Other than that, Thanksgiving went well. It was small, just me and my mom, step-dad, my brothers, and a couple other people. But it was laid back, which was nice. I went over to my mom's place the night before and had a nervous-then-later-funny experience.
When I got to the house, the radio in the kitchen was on and it looked like Mom was in the middle of making something, but she wasn't there. I asked my brother where she was and he said she went to the store. But her car was still in the driveway, so I called her cell to find out where she was at and how long she would be. Then her phone rang in the kitchen. I went into the kitchen again and realized her cell phone, her purse, her wallet and her keys were all still on the kitchen table. So, at this point, I was getting concerned. I went outside and noticed there were wet tire tracks in the driveway. Out of an abundance of caution, I used my cell phone camera to take pictures of the tracks (and no, they weren't mine...I parked on the street).  I figured it couldn't hurt to have pics since they would eventually evaporate.
Turns out my mom had cash and had walked (in the dark) to the store. She made fun of me for taking pics but I reminded her that if something HAD happened to her, she should be glad I'd taken them. She kept calling me CSI all night. I told her it was her fault for leaving and making it look like an episode of Forensic Files.
So that is our funny story for this holiday season.

At some point, I should think about looking into this concept of growing up

My step dad is out of the hospital. They were able to shrink the massive clot in his lung enough for him to be released. He is still really fragile, weak, and very ill, but no longer on the verge of death. The icu dr said if he had waited even one more day, the clot would have moved to his heart and likely killed him. It moved that way while he was in the icu but they were able to do something about it. Had he not been there, it would have been a different situation.
Still not divorced yet. We have talked about the last of the details so I'm expecting to get the papers every day that I open my mailbox but so far, nothing. So, I'm still waiting on that.
As usual, I once again was the epitome of maturity as I waited in the courtroom for my turn and listened to the prosecutor give an offer of the facts the state would intend to prove at trial. It was a case where apparently a witness statement included the term "pee pee" and as a result, the prosecutor repeatedly had to say "pee pee." There was something too hilarious about a 48 year old man who is extremely intelligent and very professional saying "pee pee" over and over again. I had a serious case of the church giggles over it. After the hearing was done, I said to him, "Hehehe, I heard you say 'pee pee.' Hehehe." To which he grinned and replied, "I know!" So there you go...your public defender may be silently holding in her giggling at the most immature and ridiculous things. You just never know. Can you believe they gave me a law degree? Ahahaha, I'm hearing him say "pee pee" in my head as I'm writing this and it's making me giggle again.
Other than that, everything is pretty much the same sh*t, different day. Just me, Ward, and dumb baby Hubert doing what we do, living the thug life.
Which of course means watching Sister Wives and taking a nap. Because seriously...wtf, Sister Wives? W.T.F.?

This is why I am not really great at being a grown-up

Yesterday, here were my thoughts:
"Tomorrow, I will get up before 9:00, do all the errands I haven't had time to do lately, make sure to get my oil changed finally, and have everything wrapped up by like 5:00 p.m. Then I will make a great, healthy dinner and go for a walk after dinner."
Today, I woke up at 9:35. I ate breakfast. I haven't changed out of my pajamas. I haven't gotten my oil changed. I did nothing that I told myself that I would do.
The day wasn't a total loss, though. I DID manage to watch like 7 episodes of shows that I have had on my DVR for months.

Welcome back to woooooork!!!!!

Well, starting tomorrow, my Christmas vacation is officially over.  Boooooo.  It was so relaxing to sit around and do nothing and watch marathons on TV.  Seriously, the holidays are the best time for TV marathons because the programmers must get lazy and just think, "Whatever, let's just play 36 hours straight of Law and Order: SVU.  No one's watching anyway..."  Except for me--I'm watching!  And I love it. 


Anywho (how's that for some Minnesota-speak?...you're welcome), I go back to work and back into court tomorrow.  However, tomorrow it's probably more appropriate to refer to it as The Gauntlet or The Seventh Circle of Hell.  Either of those would be accurate, I think. 

Things That Happen in Legal Dramas on TV/Movies That I've Never Actually Seen Happen in Real Life:

1. Prancing around the courtroom whenever the attorney wants.
2. Defense attorney present while the suspect rambles on and on and on.
3. Defense attorney asks for a three day continuance in the middle of trial and the judge just agrees to the continuance without batting an eye.
4. Just objecting without giving any reason for the objection.
5. The prosecutor using ridiculous and inflammatory arguments in the bail hearing, such as "the defendant is an accused baby killer." Even in the sticks, I've never seen anything close to that type of language fly in court out of a lawyer's mouth.
6. Prosecutor dismisses the case in the middle of trial.
7. Either attorney popping out evidence--in the middle of their line of questioning!--that the other side didn't know about because it wasn't disclosed.
8. Attorney pulls out a gun in the middle of trial.
9. Important legal discussions/decisions occurring in chambers and off the record and never in court or with a court reporter.
10. Judge asks the witness questions in the middle of a jury trial in front of the jury. (Ok I've actually seen this once and it was because the judge was curious how to pronounce the word "buccal" and asked the forensic examiner how to correctly say it after the attorneys were done with their questioning. But that wasn't related to the case and didn't prejudice one side or the other. And apparently, it's correct to say it as either "buckle" or "byoo-cull.")
I'll update this as I see more. There is a law and order marathon on right now, so I'm sure I'll see more.

Down to .666 average and other news

Well, I lost my most recent felony trial.  That sucked a lot, especially because I thought we had a really good case.  I was pretty disappointed when we lost and was in a foul mood for the rest of the day and into the next one, as well.  The only good part about the whole thing is that I know for certain that my client felt like he had good representation during his case.  I know this because he told me.  After my closing argument, I sat back down and he leaned over and said, "Guilty or not guilty, you did a great job.  I just wanted you to know that."  And then after we got the verdict, he said, "It sucks, but you did the best you could do and that's all I can ask for.  I have no complaints--you're the best lawyer I've ever had and I've had lots of public pretenders in the past."  So, while losing the trial really, really sucked and I was really disappointed, I took some solace in the knowledge that my client knew I'd put my all into it and that there was really nothing more I could do--no second guessing that if I'd only done this or that, then maybe the jury would have acquitted.  

Television brain-suck

OMG..."Sister Wives!"


I seriously can't stop watching this insanity.  Because these women are crazy!!!!!!!


It's terrible and I really should stop watching.  Except I can't...

Sunday evening musings

Sweet mother, I just saw an episode of "Sister Wives."  I'd never seen any episodes before tonight.  What the hell?!  I'd claw those other women's eyes out, no questions asked.  And then I'd kick my husband's ass for even suggesting he be allowed to bang other chicks, let alone force me to consider them my "sister wife."  


My favorite part of the episode was when the group had to move because the police were investigating them and the one woman looks at the camera, crying, and says, very seriously, "This isn't the America I learned about when I was in school."  And I thought to myself, "You mean, the America where if you break the law, you get in trouble with the police?  I'm not sure what America you grew up in, but in the America I grew up in, that's pretty much the routine."   ...you know, unless you have a killer public defender...hehehe...


My dad's coming out from the East Coast in about a week or so.  I told him I'm scheduled to be in trial that week, to which he replied that maybe he'd come watch me let a criminal go free.  Naturally I reminded him that if we won, then he wasn't a criminal, but that he'd be more than welcome to come watch since court is open. 


I've only had one person ever come see me while I'm in court--RV came and watched part of the murder trial but I didn't say anything so she more just watched the trial in general.  So, it would be kind of cool if my dad were actually able to come see my trial.  Even Hat hasn't ever seen me in court--for all he knows, I may have totally made up this whole "public defender" thing and I really don't do anything all day after I leave the house.  Well, that's not entirely true, since he's come to the office a few times and met many of my co-workers.  More accurately, I could have made up this whole "being a lawyer" thing--maybe I'm really working there as a paralegal or secretary or something else, since he's never actually seen me in court. 


Also, I love the show "Cops."  People are soooo weird on this show...and sometimes the cops are amazing and hilarious.  Like the episode I saw recently where 2 like 16 year olds were hanging around a meth house (unbeknownst to them) and the cops pulled them over and then found a joint in the car.  So, instead of arresting them or something, the cops made them each call their parents right there and then the cop told the parents that he'd busted them w/ weed and they were hanging out at a meth house, although they didn't have any meth and they didn't seem to know it was a meth house.  And the one girl started to cry and said, "Please, don't make me call my dad!"  That cop apparently knew that getting arrested is sometimes the better option if the options are arrest or telling the parents.   So, he made them deal with the worse option--the dad was yelling so loudly at the girl that you could hear him through the cell phone on the TV!!


Okay, back to the "Cops" marathon...

Television affected me more than I knew

So, upon starting to re-watch My So-Called Life, I have realized that two things from this show have affected me forever.  The first is my desire to be a redhead.  The color that Angela Chase dyes her hair in the first episode is the color I have constantly tried to replicate in my own life.  The second is my never-ending crush on Jared Leto--or more accurately, on Jordan Catalano.   No matter what Jared Leto does, I always sort of have a crush on him. 

Wriggity-wriggity-wriggity-reboot

So, last Thursday, for some reason, all of South East and South Central MN was in love with reading my blog.  And they were all state workers, according to my stat tracker, because they all accessed it from the domain of state.mn.us.  This was oddly enough on the same day that this bill was introduced in the MN Senate, which would permit counties to withdraw from public defender representation for 2 year periods.  This made me slightly suspicious, as I know maybe 1 person who lives in that entire region and that would be it.  So, I'm not sure exactly what the southern portion of the state was doing with my blog, but I didn't like it.


As a result, I removed the last 8 years worth of blog posts, since I had no idea what they were looking for, and I have rebooted the franchise, a la every-new-movie-that-has-come-out-recently (minus the terrible Megan Fox acting).  So, while I will continue to keep blogging, my archives are now inaccessible.  I have not decided what will happen with the new archives, but the old ones have been removed. 


So, I apologize to anyone who had desperately wanted to read about my life from when I was 20 years old (side note--I can't believe I have been blogging for 8 years!), but that's the status.


In other news, I got first pick in my fantasy baseball draft this year.  Last year I was like 2nd to last and that sucked.  But this year, I was first, so that was cool.  I took Albert Pujols since he kills it every year.  I got a decent lineup, including the following players: 

•  Albert Pujols
• Victor Martinez
• Ben Zobrist
• Jose Bautista
• Elvis Andrus
• Juan Pierre
• Omar Infante
• Brett Gardner
• Mike Napoli 
• Juan Uribe
• Carlos Pena
• Austin Jackson
• Miguel Olivo
• Alcides Escobar
• Carl Pavano
• Jered Weaver
• Heath Bell
• Alexi Ogando
• Matt Capps
• Anibal Sanchez
• Jon Rauch
• Jeremy Guthrie
• Brian Wilson

So, hopefully I'll do well this year.  Last year I came in third, so I did pretty decently for my first time playing.  


Other than that, things have been pretty much the same.  Life at work is returning to normal again after the massively long trial.  I'm finally mostly caught up on stuff and I am working now on staying on top of things, so I'm no longer behind on everything.  So, that's nice.  This week is a pretty easy week--only 1 court appearance so I have plenty of time to work on stuff and wrap up anything that I might still have that I'm behind on.  So, this week is nice and stress-free.  Which is an exciting and awesome change of pace. 


In other news, I've discovered that "My So Called Life" is now available on Netflix Watch Instantly.  Now that I know about this, I will have to watch it.  It's been soooooo long since Jordan Catalano has been in my life.  That show is the reason I have always had a slight crush on Jared Leto, no matter how unattractive and/or weird he's gotten.  


Okay, that's all for now.