It's no secret that I'm rather hedonistic. I'm fully aware of that. However, if was only when Hat pointed out to me recently that I'm the only person he knows who hates sweating that I realized just how intensely I despise things that aren't pleasurable. There are many things that I really hate and that I am incredibly annoyed with that apparently other people don't think about. Like sweating.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Blah
So lately I've been feeling very blah. I'm not sure why. It's not low thyroid meds, since I'm on a new dose and have been for awhile and I'm feeling better overall now. So it's not that. I'm not sure what the problem is.
I've been feeling just kind of bored with everything, I guess. There's not anything in particular that is wrong. It's just sort of routine and boring. I feel like it's my own personal "Groundhog's Day." Every day seems to bleed into the next one and the next and the next.
I can't say I'm unhappy necessarily. I'm just bored. Everything is fine. Work has been the best (read: least overwhelming and fewest crying sessions) that it has been pretty much since I started. Hat is still wonderful as always. We aren't lacking for anything and we have most of the creature comforts that you'd expect--cable, internet, big ol' TV (thanks again, Dad!), video game systems, functioning cars (with warranties still for extra bonuses), etc, etc. But, I'm still bored/blah.
I sort of wonder if the problem is that I'm out of goals. I've accomplished the major life goals I set for myself when I was younger. Go to college--check. Go to law school--check. Get a good job making decent money/not be on welfare like I was as a child--check. Get a job as a public defender--check. Get married to someone awesome--check. Aaaaand now I'm done...so, I'm supposed to be basking in the gloriousness of my accomplishments. Instead, I'm constantly thinking, "This is it? Getting up at 5:00 a.m. is not what I'd expected as basking in the gloriousness..." It's a lot less spectacular than I had expected.
And being a grown-up is a total rip-off. It's no where near as awesome as I thought it would be when I was a kid. Being a grown-up was supposed to be full of no bedtimes, no rules, and having so much fun because I could do whatever I wanted. None of those things are true. I do have a bedtime, since I have to get up so early for work. There are rules, like that I have to wear a suitcoat all the time at work (barf) and I have to have insurance on my car (expensive). And it's not so much fun because I can't do whatever I want. I have to do things that I need to do or am supposed to do. Someone should have told me that being a grown-up is not nearly as sweet and magical as it seemed. Instead it's full of responsibilities and bills and work and buying toilet paper. Ugh...
So, maybe it's that I'm out of goals now and I expected it to be way more chock-full of awesomeness than it is. Maybe it's that being a grown-up isn't as fun as I thought it would be. Maybe it's because doing the mundane things, like buying toilet paper and toothpaste and paying bills and getting an oil change, are just that--mundane.
I'm not sure what the problem is but I wish it would go away. Part of me feels like telling the other part of my to STFU because nothing is wrong so just be happy w/ that. But the other part of my is still bored and I can't shake it. I wish I knew how because I would really like to not be bored anymore. It sucks.
I've been feeling just kind of bored with everything, I guess. There's not anything in particular that is wrong. It's just sort of routine and boring. I feel like it's my own personal "Groundhog's Day." Every day seems to bleed into the next one and the next and the next.
I can't say I'm unhappy necessarily. I'm just bored. Everything is fine. Work has been the best (read: least overwhelming and fewest crying sessions) that it has been pretty much since I started. Hat is still wonderful as always. We aren't lacking for anything and we have most of the creature comforts that you'd expect--cable, internet, big ol' TV (thanks again, Dad!), video game systems, functioning cars (with warranties still for extra bonuses), etc, etc. But, I'm still bored/blah.
I sort of wonder if the problem is that I'm out of goals. I've accomplished the major life goals I set for myself when I was younger. Go to college--check. Go to law school--check. Get a good job making decent money/not be on welfare like I was as a child--check. Get a job as a public defender--check. Get married to someone awesome--check. Aaaaand now I'm done...so, I'm supposed to be basking in the gloriousness of my accomplishments. Instead, I'm constantly thinking, "This is it? Getting up at 5:00 a.m. is not what I'd expected as basking in the gloriousness..." It's a lot less spectacular than I had expected.
And being a grown-up is a total rip-off. It's no where near as awesome as I thought it would be when I was a kid. Being a grown-up was supposed to be full of no bedtimes, no rules, and having so much fun because I could do whatever I wanted. None of those things are true. I do have a bedtime, since I have to get up so early for work. There are rules, like that I have to wear a suitcoat all the time at work (barf) and I have to have insurance on my car (expensive). And it's not so much fun because I can't do whatever I want. I have to do things that I need to do or am supposed to do. Someone should have told me that being a grown-up is not nearly as sweet and magical as it seemed. Instead it's full of responsibilities and bills and work and buying toilet paper. Ugh...
So, maybe it's that I'm out of goals now and I expected it to be way more chock-full of awesomeness than it is. Maybe it's that being a grown-up isn't as fun as I thought it would be. Maybe it's because doing the mundane things, like buying toilet paper and toothpaste and paying bills and getting an oil change, are just that--mundane.
I'm not sure what the problem is but I wish it would go away. Part of me feels like telling the other part of my to STFU because nothing is wrong so just be happy w/ that. But the other part of my is still bored and I can't shake it. I wish I knew how because I would really like to not be bored anymore. It sucks.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Thursday, July 14, 2011
And I'm exhausted...
I worked out today for the first time in forever. Ever since the car accident, I've been really out of shape so I decided now was the time to get back into shape. But, I forgot how freaking hard that is!! I did a lot of squats and lunges and now I can barely move. I'm like a little old lady, hobbling around. It's pathetic how out of shape I am...
In other news: it looks like the MN state government shutdown is going to be at an end soon. Thankfully, I wasn't directly affected by it since the public defenders were considered essential services and constitutionally required to continue functioning. But, it was still frustrating that we had to deal with this again (there was a partial shutdown in 2005). The news came out today that the governor and the leaders of the two houses had reached an agreement so apparently the shutdown will end soon.
Things at work have settled into a pretty steady routine, which is a nice change of pace. I'm hesitantly waiting for the other shoe to drop and the hellhole of too many cases with no time and me freaking out and crying to revive itself, but I'm enjoying the current state of affairs. I've got regular office days since January, so I have been able to establish a routine where I met my clients at their first court date w/ an attorney and then I set up a meeting with them on one of my regular office days. I can also use my office days to review the audio/video before the omnibus hearing so I can actually KNOW if there are any omnibus issues before we get to court. Shocking!!
The nice thing is that I haven't had to ask for a continuance due to not being prepared in months. When I do need a continuance, it's been for the client's reasons--in the hospital; sick; etc. Not "I'm not prepared because I didn't get a chance to look at this case..." It's really been nice to be able to find a groove after like 2+ years of feeling like I'm constantly being pulled apart in 50 different directions. I still have overwhelming days, but the frantic feeling of "OMG I can't handle this" has subsided.
I also recently won an omnibus hearing and got my client's case dismissed for lack of probable cause. That was very, very exciting. When I saw that, I actually gasped and clapped my hands over my mouth in disbelief. I was so surprised in a freaking awesome way. I won against one of my favorite prosecutors, who is super crazy smart, so that was both fun and awesome. The best part of all was the judge dismissed it for a reason that I didn't even argue. Ahahahaha! Excellent. I think that is the first felony omnibus hearing I've had, so it was pretty sweet to win it. I'm killing it lately. I won my first felony trial, then my second one, and now I've won my first omnibus hearing. Feels good to know I'm not wiping out on these felonies like I worried about when I first started doing them.
It's very weird that I just started doing felonies a year ago. In fact, it was almost exactly a year ago. I took over in July and last July was full of panic attacks and crying and looking/feeling like a moron in court. I didn't think that w/in a year, I'd have a perfect trial record and feel competent enough to work on felonies w/o constantly needing to ask other attorneys for help.
And I've enjoyed working with the prosecutors in the county attorney's office, too. It's really nice to be on good terms w/ the opposing side, since I've never understood why some people feel like they have to be at war all the time w/ the other side. I get frustrated when other attorneys take that attitude because I find it very unnecessary. I mean, as much as I love what I do and as much as I value the work and the principles behind it, at the end of the day, it's my job not my life. So, if I win or lose, I still go home at the end of the day and watch "Teen Mom." I don't need to hate the opposition because they have their job to do. And thankfully, the county attorneys I work with seem to have the same perspective on things. So, we can get stuff resolved pretty often and they were very understanding when I first started and didn't know what the heck I was doing.
All of those things--finally having regular office days; finding my groove at work; and having good relationships with the prosecutors--have really taken a huge chunk of the stress away. I haven't cried at work in like 4 months or more!
I worked out today for the first time in forever. Ever since the car accident, I've been really out of shape so I decided now was the time to get back into shape. But, I forgot how freaking hard that is!! I did a lot of squats and lunges and now I can barely move. I'm like a little old lady, hobbling around. It's pathetic how out of shape I am...
In other news: it looks like the MN state government shutdown is going to be at an end soon. Thankfully, I wasn't directly affected by it since the public defenders were considered essential services and constitutionally required to continue functioning. But, it was still frustrating that we had to deal with this again (there was a partial shutdown in 2005). The news came out today that the governor and the leaders of the two houses had reached an agreement so apparently the shutdown will end soon.
Things at work have settled into a pretty steady routine, which is a nice change of pace. I'm hesitantly waiting for the other shoe to drop and the hellhole of too many cases with no time and me freaking out and crying to revive itself, but I'm enjoying the current state of affairs. I've got regular office days since January, so I have been able to establish a routine where I met my clients at their first court date w/ an attorney and then I set up a meeting with them on one of my regular office days. I can also use my office days to review the audio/video before the omnibus hearing so I can actually KNOW if there are any omnibus issues before we get to court. Shocking!!
The nice thing is that I haven't had to ask for a continuance due to not being prepared in months. When I do need a continuance, it's been for the client's reasons--in the hospital; sick; etc. Not "I'm not prepared because I didn't get a chance to look at this case..." It's really been nice to be able to find a groove after like 2+ years of feeling like I'm constantly being pulled apart in 50 different directions. I still have overwhelming days, but the frantic feeling of "OMG I can't handle this" has subsided.
I also recently won an omnibus hearing and got my client's case dismissed for lack of probable cause. That was very, very exciting. When I saw that, I actually gasped and clapped my hands over my mouth in disbelief. I was so surprised in a freaking awesome way. I won against one of my favorite prosecutors, who is super crazy smart, so that was both fun and awesome. The best part of all was the judge dismissed it for a reason that I didn't even argue. Ahahahaha! Excellent. I think that is the first felony omnibus hearing I've had, so it was pretty sweet to win it. I'm killing it lately. I won my first felony trial, then my second one, and now I've won my first omnibus hearing. Feels good to know I'm not wiping out on these felonies like I worried about when I first started doing them.
It's very weird that I just started doing felonies a year ago. In fact, it was almost exactly a year ago. I took over in July and last July was full of panic attacks and crying and looking/feeling like a moron in court. I didn't think that w/in a year, I'd have a perfect trial record and feel competent enough to work on felonies w/o constantly needing to ask other attorneys for help.
And I've enjoyed working with the prosecutors in the county attorney's office, too. It's really nice to be on good terms w/ the opposing side, since I've never understood why some people feel like they have to be at war all the time w/ the other side. I get frustrated when other attorneys take that attitude because I find it very unnecessary. I mean, as much as I love what I do and as much as I value the work and the principles behind it, at the end of the day, it's my job not my life. So, if I win or lose, I still go home at the end of the day and watch "Teen Mom." I don't need to hate the opposition because they have their job to do. And thankfully, the county attorneys I work with seem to have the same perspective on things. So, we can get stuff resolved pretty often and they were very understanding when I first started and didn't know what the heck I was doing.
All of those things--finally having regular office days; finding my groove at work; and having good relationships with the prosecutors--have really taken a huge chunk of the stress away. I haven't cried at work in like 4 months or more!
Friday, July 01, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Upheaval
Upheaval is like the trend this June, apparently. There's a bunch of things currently in the middle of upheaving (is that a word?? It is now...) and it's messing with my brain.
Thing 1: Impending state government shutdown
(Read more about it here)
In a very short nutshell, the state government has till July 1 to pass a budget for the next fiscal year. As an aside, I never thought I'd use the term "fiscal year" since that has to do w/ math and economics and business and I'mincredibly slightly deficient in those areas. At any rate, if there's no budget passed, there's no money for government services and the state shuts down. Meaning every state employee (including this girl!) gets laid off. At least, in theory. In reality, there's a court hearing next Thursday to determine what services are "essential" and need to continue to run even if there is a shutdown and PDs are among those. You know, that whole "constitutionally required" thing...
So, we all got layoff notices (I pointed out to Hat that since I technically was hired w/ the understanding I would be laid off in July of 2009, it made sense I was finally getting my layoff notice!). And then we all just kind of collectively shrugged our shoulders because it's pretty unlikely the courts and the PDs would shut down. So, while nothing has been decided yet, almost no one is panicking about it. It is still a bit freaky when you think about it though.
Also, I don't think I've ever gotten a layoff notice before. It's nice to know that my first one really isn't that serious.
Thing 2:
The attorney who left last July and whose cases I took over in the Great Felony Dump of 2010 is returning, along w/ a few other attorneys who took leaves of absences last July in order to save other people's jobs (meaning: my job!). This doesn't appear to be an issue as far as me getting laid off now that she's coming back (except for in the event of a state government shutdown, of course!). Rather, it appears that there will now be too many attorneys in the county I'm currently working in. There would be a total of 5 of us in one county. This attorney isn't coming back to take the felony caseload back--she's actually going to be doing another attorney's caseload.
So, that means that someone needs to be removed from the county and moved somewhere else. And it's either me or the other attorney whose caseload is being taken over by Returning Attorney. My vote is for other attorney.
Oddly enough, I seriously doubt if you told me I'd want to stay on the felony caseload about a year ago, when I was crying basically every day and hyperventilating in panic, I would have punched you in the face for even suggesting such a thing. However, after a year of felonies, I kind of have my groove down now. I've got a great schedule worked out w/ court administration. I'm available for court hearings M-W and the first and third Friday of the month. Thursdays and the second and fourth Fridays are my office days/jail visit days. Arguments about scheduling have pretty much entirely ceased since about last December.
I got my formula down for how I handle the cases--meet clients at the Rule 8 hearings, schedule office meetings with them to discuss their cases, work on resolutions and/or trial. I've got great relationships with the prosecuting attorneys and we get like 99.9% of our cases resolved in a way that my clients are satisfied with the outcomes. And, somehow, I've gotten the reputation of being one of the good public defenders, so I take that as proof that my clients really are satisfied w/ the work I've been doing.
And, let's not forget, I'm undefeated in felony trials. I just have one more prosecutor to beat in trial to complete the sweep (which I told him and said I was going to send him a picture of a broom and say "SWEEEEEEP!!!" He thought that was pretty funny.)
So, despite how unlikely it may have seemed a year ago, I'm actually enjoying working on the felony cases. They definitely have more interesting search/seizure issues than most of the misdemeanor cases. And, it is definitely going to be difficult to get fired up about someone's driving after revocation or no insurance ticket after doing felonies. Not that I wouldn't do my best, but having had people get sent to prison for anywhere from 15 months to the rest of their life, it's hard to see 10 days in jail as a significant amount of jail time.
At any rate, I've got my fingers crossed that I won't get moved out of my county. It's the closest county to my house, which is also convenient. It's nice to do things like what I did today, where I left the office at 3:45 to drive to the jail and visit with a client for an hour and then headed home. The city that courthouse and jail are located in is right in the middle of the distance between my house and my office. It's like a straight shot to court/jail and then another 15 minutes in the same direction for the office and vice versa. So, that's really nice, too. Fingers crossed I will get to stay!!
Thing 3:
Hat called me today slightly nervous because a prosecutor had left him a message saying he was going to be subpoenaed for a trial. He wanted me to call her back because he didn't know what it would be about or why and I was an attorney so I would be better at talking to her. So, I called and left her a message telling her who I was and that I was a PD so my husband had wanted me to talk to her because he was kind of freaked out by her call. She called back and was very nice and polite and explained that Hat wasn't in trouble and explained why she needed him to testify. And after I talked to her, she said she might end up just subpoenaing both of us to testify.
We'd be very inconsequential in the overall case, but it's still a little strange to out of the blue be involved in some stranger's court case (and not as their attorney!). And I saw Hat's initials in the complaint and that was very bizarre. I read complaints all day long, so it's very weird to have my husband in one of them, even if it was very brief. So, we'll see what happens with that whole thing. I told Hat what the prosecutor needed him for and said he would be fine talking to her if she wanted to talk to him more. Then he wasn't so freaked out.
All right, that's all the unheaving at the moment. Time for bed!
Thing 1: Impending state government shutdown
(Read more about it here)
In a very short nutshell, the state government has till July 1 to pass a budget for the next fiscal year. As an aside, I never thought I'd use the term "fiscal year" since that has to do w/ math and economics and business and I'm
So, we all got layoff notices (I pointed out to Hat that since I technically was hired w/ the understanding I would be laid off in July of 2009, it made sense I was finally getting my layoff notice!). And then we all just kind of collectively shrugged our shoulders because it's pretty unlikely the courts and the PDs would shut down. So, while nothing has been decided yet, almost no one is panicking about it. It is still a bit freaky when you think about it though.
Also, I don't think I've ever gotten a layoff notice before. It's nice to know that my first one really isn't that serious.
Thing 2:
The attorney who left last July and whose cases I took over in the Great Felony Dump of 2010 is returning, along w/ a few other attorneys who took leaves of absences last July in order to save other people's jobs (meaning: my job!). This doesn't appear to be an issue as far as me getting laid off now that she's coming back (except for in the event of a state government shutdown, of course!). Rather, it appears that there will now be too many attorneys in the county I'm currently working in. There would be a total of 5 of us in one county. This attorney isn't coming back to take the felony caseload back--she's actually going to be doing another attorney's caseload.
So, that means that someone needs to be removed from the county and moved somewhere else. And it's either me or the other attorney whose caseload is being taken over by Returning Attorney. My vote is for other attorney.
Oddly enough, I seriously doubt if you told me I'd want to stay on the felony caseload about a year ago, when I was crying basically every day and hyperventilating in panic, I would have punched you in the face for even suggesting such a thing. However, after a year of felonies, I kind of have my groove down now. I've got a great schedule worked out w/ court administration. I'm available for court hearings M-W and the first and third Friday of the month. Thursdays and the second and fourth Fridays are my office days/jail visit days. Arguments about scheduling have pretty much entirely ceased since about last December.
I got my formula down for how I handle the cases--meet clients at the Rule 8 hearings, schedule office meetings with them to discuss their cases, work on resolutions and/or trial. I've got great relationships with the prosecuting attorneys and we get like 99.9% of our cases resolved in a way that my clients are satisfied with the outcomes. And, somehow, I've gotten the reputation of being one of the good public defenders, so I take that as proof that my clients really are satisfied w/ the work I've been doing.
And, let's not forget, I'm undefeated in felony trials. I just have one more prosecutor to beat in trial to complete the sweep (which I told him and said I was going to send him a picture of a broom and say "SWEEEEEEP!!!" He thought that was pretty funny.)
So, despite how unlikely it may have seemed a year ago, I'm actually enjoying working on the felony cases. They definitely have more interesting search/seizure issues than most of the misdemeanor cases. And, it is definitely going to be difficult to get fired up about someone's driving after revocation or no insurance ticket after doing felonies. Not that I wouldn't do my best, but having had people get sent to prison for anywhere from 15 months to the rest of their life, it's hard to see 10 days in jail as a significant amount of jail time.
At any rate, I've got my fingers crossed that I won't get moved out of my county. It's the closest county to my house, which is also convenient. It's nice to do things like what I did today, where I left the office at 3:45 to drive to the jail and visit with a client for an hour and then headed home. The city that courthouse and jail are located in is right in the middle of the distance between my house and my office. It's like a straight shot to court/jail and then another 15 minutes in the same direction for the office and vice versa. So, that's really nice, too. Fingers crossed I will get to stay!!
Thing 3:
Hat called me today slightly nervous because a prosecutor had left him a message saying he was going to be subpoenaed for a trial. He wanted me to call her back because he didn't know what it would be about or why and I was an attorney so I would be better at talking to her. So, I called and left her a message telling her who I was and that I was a PD so my husband had wanted me to talk to her because he was kind of freaked out by her call. She called back and was very nice and polite and explained that Hat wasn't in trouble and explained why she needed him to testify. And after I talked to her, she said she might end up just subpoenaing both of us to testify.
We'd be very inconsequential in the overall case, but it's still a little strange to out of the blue be involved in some stranger's court case (and not as their attorney!). And I saw Hat's initials in the complaint and that was very bizarre. I read complaints all day long, so it's very weird to have my husband in one of them, even if it was very brief. So, we'll see what happens with that whole thing. I told Hat what the prosecutor needed him for and said he would be fine talking to her if she wanted to talk to him more. Then he wasn't so freaked out.
All right, that's all the unheaving at the moment. Time for bed!
Monday, June 13, 2011
Thursday, June 09, 2011
Pants are a pain all the time. Wearing them...making them...
I have been trying to sew a pair of pants for about 1 1/2 months now. Ever since Hat got me that sweet sewing box for my birthday, I've been working on a pair of pants for work. The first pair didn't work out because I messed up the pattern and they were too small. This was a major setback since the pants were almost completed and I was really upset over that mistake. But, I re-started the pants again and I'm now almost done. I'm like 3 steps away from being completely done with the pants. I will be extremely excited if I can complete the pants and they actually look decent! Pants are tricky...very, very tricky, as I've discovered. I'm sewing the hook-and-eye clasps on tonight and then I'll just have to do the hems and I'm done!!
Pictures will be forthcoming--assuming they don't look stupid. If they look stupid, then there will be no pictures.
Pictures will be forthcoming--assuming they don't look stupid. If they look stupid, then there will be no pictures.
Sunday, June 05, 2011
Television brain-suck
OMG..."Sister Wives!"
I seriously can't stop watching this insanity. Because these women are crazy!!!!!!!
It's terrible and I really should stop watching. Except I can't...
I seriously can't stop watching this insanity. Because these women are crazy!!!!!!!
It's terrible and I really should stop watching. Except I can't...
Thursday, June 02, 2011
I'm batting .1000!!
Winner, winner, chicken dinner! My second felony jury trial ended today around 4:15 p.m. Jury came back around 7:30-7:45--not guilty on both felony counts. Wooooohooooo!!!!
The minute before the judge reads the verdict is the most stressful, nerve-wracking, and terrifying minute ever. The second after he says "not guilty" is the most amazing, fantastic, and satisfying second ever. And the emotional high from winning is spectacular!!
So, now I'm two for two on my felony jury trials. Since I was only second chair on the murder trial, I don't really count that. So I'm batting .1000.
That's what I'm talking about.
The minute before the judge reads the verdict is the most stressful, nerve-wracking, and terrifying minute ever. The second after he says "not guilty" is the most amazing, fantastic, and satisfying second ever. And the emotional high from winning is spectacular!!
So, now I'm two for two on my felony jury trials. Since I was only second chair on the murder trial, I don't really count that. So I'm batting .1000.
That's what I'm talking about.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Success is counted sweetest by those who ne'er succeed
I lost a sentencing motion today. I worked super hard on it, as did a member of my support staff. I even put together a powerpoint presentation to correspond w/ my verbal argument to the court (and it took me roughly 6-8 hours to put the presentation together because I really don't know how to do powerpoint and kind of had to teach myself as a I went along). But, in the end, the court did not agree with our recommendations, so we lost the motion.
Despite the fact that we lost, I can take some consolation in the fact that I had people tell me that I did a really good job on the hearing. Considering that in most of my court hearings, I'm always wondering if I sound like a total moron (it's that whole public speaking thing that can be a bit unnerving, even when your job requires you to do it every day), it was nice to hear that people thought I did well. The court clerk told me I did an excellent job, another defense attorney in the courtroom told me afterwards that it was "hands down the best departure motion" she'd ever seen, and even the prosecutor told me afterwards that my powerpoint was really good. So, at least I know that I did everything I could and the presentation of the motion was strong. The court didn't agree with what we were requesting, but I did feel like the judge listened to the arguments and considered them and that's really all either side can ask for.
Well, you can't win 'em all, and thankfully, for our side of things, you can't lose 'em all, either. And as Emily Dickinson so aptly stated, "Success is counted sweetest by those who ne'er succeed."
Despite the fact that we lost, I can take some consolation in the fact that I had people tell me that I did a really good job on the hearing. Considering that in most of my court hearings, I'm always wondering if I sound like a total moron (it's that whole public speaking thing that can be a bit unnerving, even when your job requires you to do it every day), it was nice to hear that people thought I did well. The court clerk told me I did an excellent job, another defense attorney in the courtroom told me afterwards that it was "hands down the best departure motion" she'd ever seen, and even the prosecutor told me afterwards that my powerpoint was really good. So, at least I know that I did everything I could and the presentation of the motion was strong. The court didn't agree with what we were requesting, but I did feel like the judge listened to the arguments and considered them and that's really all either side can ask for.
Well, you can't win 'em all, and thankfully, for our side of things, you can't lose 'em all, either. And as Emily Dickinson so aptly stated, "Success is counted sweetest by those who ne'er succeed."
Success is counted sweetest
By those who ne'er succeed
To comprehend a nectar
Requires sorest need.
Not one of all the purple host
Who took the flag today
Can tell the definition
So clear, of victory!
As he, defeated, dying,
On whose forbidden ear
The distant strains of triumph
Burst agonized and clear!
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Sunday evening musings
Sweet mother, I just saw an episode of "Sister Wives." I'd never seen any episodes before tonight. What the hell?! I'd claw those other women's eyes out, no questions asked. And then I'd kick my husband's ass for even suggesting he be allowed to bang other chicks, let alone force me to consider them my "sister wife."
My favorite part of the episode was when the group had to move because the police were investigating them and the one woman looks at the camera, crying, and says, very seriously, "This isn't the America I learned about when I was in school." And I thought to myself, "You mean, the America where if you break the law, you get in trouble with the police? I'm not sure what America you grew up in, but in the America I grew up in, that's pretty much the routine." ...you know, unless you have a killer public defender...hehehe...
My dad's coming out from the East Coast in about a week or so. I told him I'm scheduled to be in trial that week, to which he replied that maybe he'd come watch me let a criminal go free. Naturally I reminded him that if we won, then he wasn't a criminal, but that he'd be more than welcome to come watch since court is open.
I've only had one person ever come see me while I'm in court--RV came and watched part of the murder trial but I didn't say anything so she more just watched the trial in general. So, it would be kind of cool if my dad were actually able to come see my trial. Even Hat hasn't ever seen me in court--for all he knows, I may have totally made up this whole "public defender" thing and I really don't do anything all day after I leave the house. Well, that's not entirely true, since he's come to the office a few times and met many of my co-workers. More accurately, I could have made up this whole "being a lawyer" thing--maybe I'm really working there as a paralegal or secretary or something else, since he's never actually seen me in court.
Also, I love the show "Cops." People are soooo weird on this show...and sometimes the cops are amazing and hilarious. Like the episode I saw recently where 2 like 16 year olds were hanging around a meth house (unbeknownst to them) and the cops pulled them over and then found a joint in the car. So, instead of arresting them or something, the cops made them each call their parents right there and then the cop told the parents that he'd busted them w/ weed and they were hanging out at a meth house, although they didn't have any meth and they didn't seem to know it was a meth house. And the one girl started to cry and said, "Please, don't make me call my dad!" That cop apparently knew that getting arrested is sometimes the better option if the options are arrest or telling the parents. So, he made them deal with the worse option--the dad was yelling so loudly at the girl that you could hear him through the cell phone on the TV!!
Okay, back to the "Cops" marathon...
My favorite part of the episode was when the group had to move because the police were investigating them and the one woman looks at the camera, crying, and says, very seriously, "This isn't the America I learned about when I was in school." And I thought to myself, "You mean, the America where if you break the law, you get in trouble with the police? I'm not sure what America you grew up in, but in the America I grew up in, that's pretty much the routine." ...you know, unless you have a killer public defender...hehehe...
My dad's coming out from the East Coast in about a week or so. I told him I'm scheduled to be in trial that week, to which he replied that maybe he'd come watch me let a criminal go free. Naturally I reminded him that if we won, then he wasn't a criminal, but that he'd be more than welcome to come watch since court is open.
I've only had one person ever come see me while I'm in court--RV came and watched part of the murder trial but I didn't say anything so she more just watched the trial in general. So, it would be kind of cool if my dad were actually able to come see my trial. Even Hat hasn't ever seen me in court--for all he knows, I may have totally made up this whole "public defender" thing and I really don't do anything all day after I leave the house. Well, that's not entirely true, since he's come to the office a few times and met many of my co-workers. More accurately, I could have made up this whole "being a lawyer" thing--maybe I'm really working there as a paralegal or secretary or something else, since he's never actually seen me in court.
Also, I love the show "Cops." People are soooo weird on this show...and sometimes the cops are amazing and hilarious. Like the episode I saw recently where 2 like 16 year olds were hanging around a meth house (unbeknownst to them) and the cops pulled them over and then found a joint in the car. So, instead of arresting them or something, the cops made them each call their parents right there and then the cop told the parents that he'd busted them w/ weed and they were hanging out at a meth house, although they didn't have any meth and they didn't seem to know it was a meth house. And the one girl started to cry and said, "Please, don't make me call my dad!" That cop apparently knew that getting arrested is sometimes the better option if the options are arrest or telling the parents. So, he made them deal with the worse option--the dad was yelling so loudly at the girl that you could hear him through the cell phone on the TV!!
Okay, back to the "Cops" marathon...
Friday, May 20, 2011
Back from the land of paradise
So, Hawaii was amazing. Stepping off the plane felt a little like stepping into a movie, since everywhere I looked, there were palm trees and gorgeous mountainscapes. And the ocean. Lots of the ocean. Like this:
Those are actual photos I took while we were there. I know, right?? Un-freaking-real...
Needless to say, it was super relaxing. My regular stabbing-upper-back/shoulder pain that likes to make my right side feel like misery didn't act up once while I was in Hawaii! I felt awesome the whole time I was there. And, Hat's allergies disappeared, too. So, physically and mentally, it was phenomenal. Hat's already trying to figure out how we can move there. However, since Hawaii makes you take its bar exam (no waivers), it probably won't happen. One bar exam is torture enough!!
So, today it was back to work as usual. Nothing really had changed. Well, there was a new copier in the office--this one is in color!!--and it scared me a little since I'm technologically equivalent to a caveman. So, when I had to fax something in to the court, I got a little nervous that I might not know what to do. Thankfully, that aspect of it was the same as the old copier, so I was okay.
I did win a sentencing argument today, so that was pretty neat. It was a drug case and the agreement let me argue for a stay of adjudication (meaning no conviction is entered and if the person completes probation successfully, then there is never a conviction) and the state was going to argue for a stay of imposition (meaning a felony sentence isn't imposed and if the person is successful on probation, the charge is a misdemeanor on their record--it's a felony on their record while they are on probation, though). So, I made my arguments and thought we had a decent enough shot at the court giving us the stay of adjudication. And the court did grant that, which was pretty awesome.
The judge I was in front of is very hard to read, though. While I was giving my reasoning for requesting the stay of adjudication, I kept thinking, "Omg...what's that expression mean?? Is this going terribly? I don't think I sound like I'm talking crazy but maybe I am...ugh...what is this judge thinking?!" The judge's face was somewhat stern looking and they kept raising one eyebrow at me, making me wonder if what I'd just said was totally nuts. However, after the court went with our recommendation, I started to think that maybe that was just the judge's concentration face--I have been told I look mad when I'm thinking really hard, so maybe it's something like that. Or maybe I did sound like a whacko but the court went with the recommendation anyway. That's always a possibility.
The biggest benefit of my Hawaii trip is now I look even less like I'm old enough to be a lawyer, since I now have a great big crop of freckles across my cheeks and nose. Like a little kid. They only ever come out in the summer time--they are not really visible at all in the winter, but in the summer and in the sun, they pop out like crazy. So, as I was talking to one of the prosecutors today, she asked me, "Were you out in the sun recently? I've never seen you with freckles before!" So, I know that they are noticeable. I already get asked about my age and how long I've been an attorney. A big splash of little-kid-freckles can only make that perception even better...
Monday, May 16, 2011
Monday, May 09, 2011
A tale of two weather forecasts
Minnesota:
May 12: Showers; high of 62; low of 50
May 13: Few showers; high of 56; low of 49
May 14: Few showers; high of 60; low of 44
May 15: Partly cloudy; high of 64; low of 46
May 16: Partly cloudy; high of 66; low of 47
May 17: Showers; high of 67; low of 46
May 18: Scattered showers; high of 66; low of 44
Hawaii:
May 12: Partly cloudy; high of 84; low of 73
May 13: Partly cloudy; high of 83; low of 73
May 14: Partly cloudy; high of 83; low of 73
May 15: Partly cloudy; high of 84; low of 73
May 16: Cloudy; high of 84; low of 73
May 17: Partly cloudy; high of 84; low of 73
May 18: Cloudy; high of 84; low of 73
Do I really have to come back afterwards?? I'm sure I could pass the Hawaii bar exam. And I hear Mormons are really big down there, so I'd fit right in (at least at first until they figured out that I secretly don't fit in at all). I'm sure I can just stay there forever, right??
Sunday, May 08, 2011
Wednesday, May 04, 2011
Humorous conversation of the day
One of the prosecutors and I were discussing bail on a case before court this afternoon. I wanted him to agree to lower the bail. While we were talking about why I thought he should agree to reduced bail, he was reviewing the bail evaluation, which is this form that ranks defendants based on a number of factors to determine whether bail should be set and at what level. The scale goes something like this: 0-8 is low; 9-17 is medium; 18+ is high.
Today's client had a score of 89. While discussing the bail with the prosecutor, he says to me: "He's got a bail eval score of 89. I don't think I've ever seen one that high before."
Me: "Oh, I've seen ones that high before."
Him: "Really? You must know some interesting people."
Me: (Pause) "You know what my job is, right?"
Hehehe...gotta have some humor to lighten things up at work.
Today's client had a score of 89. While discussing the bail with the prosecutor, he says to me: "He's got a bail eval score of 89. I don't think I've ever seen one that high before."
Me: "Oh, I've seen ones that high before."
Him: "Really? You must know some interesting people."
Me: (Pause) "You know what my job is, right?"
Hehehe...gotta have some humor to lighten things up at work.
Friday, April 29, 2011
I'm a grumpy-pants lately
I have kind of wanted to punch everyone lately. This is because my thyroid medication is definitely off. As a result, my mood starts to suffer and I get seriously edgy. Like I have been lately. So, I end up having zero patience and then everyone gets on my nerves immediately.
This is a problem at work, since dealing w/ my clients requires patience. So far I've been okay at keeping it in check and not revealing the fact that I want to push people over all the time. Just secretly, inside, I'm constantly thinking, "Shut up! Stop talking! I'm annoyed with you..." To be fair, I think that about most people when my thyroid meds are off, but at least I can tell other people (like Hat and my co-workers) that I'm crabby due to that reason. I generally don't discuss my medical issues w/ my clients, however, so I end up biting my tongue quite often and reminding myself that I've got my doctor's appointment in a few days so I will stop feeling so ragey soon enough.
Some things will always annoy me, though, regardless of whether my meds are right or not. Such as the clients who begin their first conversations with me by informing me that they have already spoken with some other attorney that they sort of know and that attorney told them that they should tell me to do X, Y, or Z on their case. Yeah?? Well, go hire that attorney then. Otherwise, let me do my damn job.
I have no problem if people want to take what I tell them and go get a second opinion. That's fine. But, then, if you decide you dislike my advice, don't come back and tell me that some other attorney would do it this way or that way so I should do it like that too. No, I shouldn't. If you prefer some other attorney's advice/case strategy, then go hire them. But I'm not them. Don't tell me what I need to do based on what someone else told you. I don't need to do anything that I don't think it appropriate--you need to go hire them if you like them better. Trust me, I won't be offended.
That being said, I did find out today that my reputation as an attorney precedes me. And in a good way, not in a terrifying, rumor-filled sort of way. I recently learned that when one of my clients found out that I was their public defender, they were very happy because they had heard I am nice and that I am a good attorney. I do try to be nice, so that's probably a fair assessment. Even when I'm low on thyroid meds and feeling full of rage, I still try to be nice to my clients. Not nice in a lie-to-them-and/or-give-them-unrealistic-assessments-of-their-cases sort of way. Nice in an understanding-listen-to-them-explain-things-thoroughly-break-bad-news-gently-to-them sort of way.
Am I a good attorney? I think I'm fairly decent. I know my stuff and I know enough to know what I don't know and I go find it out if I don't know it. But, I certainly don't think I'm amazing. I've heard this before from other clients--the buzz at the jail for awhile was that I was "the good public defender"--and I always think this is probably more of a situation of me being nice and that being translated into me being some amazing attorney or something. I can name many, many more attorneys who are much more polished than I am in court. There are many attorneys who know case law citations in their heads. I see much more eloquent and smooth-talking attorneys in court than I sound. I've read transcripts of myself in court--that's never not-embarrassing. So, I think I'm a solid attorney. I think I'm good in the sense that I am not a dolt and if you ask me to explain something to you, I generally know enough about it to explain it. But, I don't characterize myself as some fantastic courtroom presence or something. I'd rank myself as average, especially because I'm still a relatively new attorney. Some things you just have to learn by experience and I've only got 2 years of experience.
But, it's nice to know that my clients are generally happy with my representation of them on their cases. Obviously if my incoming clients are hearing that I'm nice and good, that must mean that my current and/or former clients are satisfied. And that's more important to me than being all smooth and fancy in court. Because let's face it--I probably won't ever be all smooth and fancy in court. I'm the same girl who complains about having to wear pants and would totally have pajamas on under my robe if I were a judge. Smooth and fancy just aren't in my realm. It's a victory if I don't say "uuuuhhhhh" more than 10 times in one court hearing.
And in other news, WTF is up with the Twins?? Shameful lately!! Incredibly shameful. But, at least I'm kicking butt in fantasy baseball. My record so far is 2-1 and it looks like this week will make it 3-1. So, at least there's that.
This is a problem at work, since dealing w/ my clients requires patience. So far I've been okay at keeping it in check and not revealing the fact that I want to push people over all the time. Just secretly, inside, I'm constantly thinking, "Shut up! Stop talking! I'm annoyed with you..." To be fair, I think that about most people when my thyroid meds are off, but at least I can tell other people (like Hat and my co-workers) that I'm crabby due to that reason. I generally don't discuss my medical issues w/ my clients, however, so I end up biting my tongue quite often and reminding myself that I've got my doctor's appointment in a few days so I will stop feeling so ragey soon enough.
Some things will always annoy me, though, regardless of whether my meds are right or not. Such as the clients who begin their first conversations with me by informing me that they have already spoken with some other attorney that they sort of know and that attorney told them that they should tell me to do X, Y, or Z on their case. Yeah?? Well, go hire that attorney then. Otherwise, let me do my damn job.
I have no problem if people want to take what I tell them and go get a second opinion. That's fine. But, then, if you decide you dislike my advice, don't come back and tell me that some other attorney would do it this way or that way so I should do it like that too. No, I shouldn't. If you prefer some other attorney's advice/case strategy, then go hire them. But I'm not them. Don't tell me what I need to do based on what someone else told you. I don't need to do anything that I don't think it appropriate--you need to go hire them if you like them better. Trust me, I won't be offended.
That being said, I did find out today that my reputation as an attorney precedes me. And in a good way, not in a terrifying, rumor-filled sort of way. I recently learned that when one of my clients found out that I was their public defender, they were very happy because they had heard I am nice and that I am a good attorney. I do try to be nice, so that's probably a fair assessment. Even when I'm low on thyroid meds and feeling full of rage, I still try to be nice to my clients. Not nice in a lie-to-them-and/or-give-them-unrealistic-assessments-of-their-cases sort of way. Nice in an understanding-listen-to-them-explain-things-thoroughly-break-bad-news-gently-to-them sort of way.
Am I a good attorney? I think I'm fairly decent. I know my stuff and I know enough to know what I don't know and I go find it out if I don't know it. But, I certainly don't think I'm amazing. I've heard this before from other clients--the buzz at the jail for awhile was that I was "the good public defender"--and I always think this is probably more of a situation of me being nice and that being translated into me being some amazing attorney or something. I can name many, many more attorneys who are much more polished than I am in court. There are many attorneys who know case law citations in their heads. I see much more eloquent and smooth-talking attorneys in court than I sound. I've read transcripts of myself in court--that's never not-embarrassing. So, I think I'm a solid attorney. I think I'm good in the sense that I am not a dolt and if you ask me to explain something to you, I generally know enough about it to explain it. But, I don't characterize myself as some fantastic courtroom presence or something. I'd rank myself as average, especially because I'm still a relatively new attorney. Some things you just have to learn by experience and I've only got 2 years of experience.
But, it's nice to know that my clients are generally happy with my representation of them on their cases. Obviously if my incoming clients are hearing that I'm nice and good, that must mean that my current and/or former clients are satisfied. And that's more important to me than being all smooth and fancy in court. Because let's face it--I probably won't ever be all smooth and fancy in court. I'm the same girl who complains about having to wear pants and would totally have pajamas on under my robe if I were a judge. Smooth and fancy just aren't in my realm. It's a victory if I don't say "uuuuhhhhh" more than 10 times in one court hearing.
And in other news, WTF is up with the Twins?? Shameful lately!! Incredibly shameful. But, at least I'm kicking butt in fantasy baseball. My record so far is 2-1 and it looks like this week will make it 3-1. So, at least there's that.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
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