Upheaval

Upheaval is like the trend this June, apparently.  There's a bunch of things currently in the middle of upheaving (is that a word?? It is now...) and it's messing with my brain. 


Thing 1: Impending state government shutdown
(Read more about it here)
In a very short nutshell, the state government has till July 1 to pass a budget for the next fiscal year.  As an aside, I never thought I'd use the term "fiscal year" since that has to do w/ math and economics and business and I'm incredibly slightly deficient in those areas.  At any rate, if there's no budget passed, there's no money for government services and the state shuts down.  Meaning every state employee (including this girl!) gets laid off.  At least, in theory.  In reality, there's a court hearing next Thursday to determine what services are "essential" and need to continue to run even if there is a shutdown and PDs are among those.  You know, that whole "constitutionally required" thing...


So, we all got layoff notices (I pointed out to Hat that since I technically was hired w/ the understanding I would be laid off in July of 2009, it made sense I was finally getting my layoff notice!).  And then we all just kind of collectively shrugged our shoulders because it's pretty unlikely the courts and the PDs would shut down.  So, while nothing has been decided yet, almost no one is panicking about it.  It is still a bit freaky when you think about it though. 


Also, I don't think I've ever gotten a layoff notice before.  It's nice to know that my first one really isn't that serious. 


Thing 2: 
The attorney who left last July and whose cases I took over in the Great Felony Dump of 2010 is returning, along w/ a few other attorneys who took leaves of absences last July in order to save other people's jobs (meaning: my job!).  This doesn't appear to be an issue as far as me getting laid off now that she's coming back (except for in the event of a state government shutdown, of course!).  Rather, it appears that there will now be too many attorneys in the county I'm currently working in.  There would be a total of 5 of us in one county.  This attorney isn't coming back to take the felony caseload back--she's actually going to be doing another attorney's caseload.  


So, that means that someone needs to be removed from the county and moved somewhere else.  And it's either me or the other attorney whose caseload is being taken over by Returning Attorney.  My vote is for other attorney. 


Oddly enough, I seriously doubt if you told me I'd want to stay on the felony caseload about a year ago, when I was crying basically every day and hyperventilating in panic, I would have punched you in the face for even suggesting such a thing.  However, after a year of felonies, I kind of have my groove down now.  I've got a great schedule worked out w/ court administration.  I'm available for court hearings M-W and the first and third Friday of the month.  Thursdays and the second and fourth Fridays are my office days/jail visit days.  Arguments about scheduling have pretty much entirely ceased since about last December.  


I got my formula down for how I handle the cases--meet clients at the Rule 8 hearings, schedule office meetings with them to discuss their cases, work on resolutions and/or trial.  I've got great relationships with the prosecuting attorneys and we get like 99.9% of our cases resolved in a way that my clients are satisfied with the outcomes.  And, somehow, I've gotten the reputation of being one of the good public defenders, so I take that as proof that my clients really are satisfied w/ the work I've been doing. 


And, let's not forget, I'm undefeated in felony trials.  I just have one more prosecutor to beat in trial to complete the sweep (which I told him and said I was going to send him a picture of a broom and say "SWEEEEEEP!!!"  He thought that was pretty funny.)


So, despite how unlikely it may have seemed a year ago, I'm actually enjoying working on the felony cases.  They definitely have more interesting search/seizure issues than most of the misdemeanor cases.  And, it is definitely going to be difficult to get fired up about someone's driving after revocation or no insurance ticket after doing felonies.  Not that I wouldn't do my best, but having had people get sent to prison for anywhere from 15 months to the rest of their life, it's hard to see 10 days in jail as a significant amount of jail time.


At any rate, I've got my fingers crossed that I won't get moved out of my county.  It's the closest county to my house, which is also convenient.  It's nice to do things like what I did today, where I left the office at 3:45 to drive to the jail and visit with a client for an hour and then headed home.  The city that courthouse and jail are located in is right in the middle of the distance between my house and my office.  It's like a straight shot to court/jail and then another 15 minutes in the same direction for the office and vice versa.  So, that's really nice, too.  Fingers crossed I will get to stay!!


Thing 3:
Hat called me today slightly nervous because a prosecutor had left him a message saying he was going to be subpoenaed for a trial.  He wanted me to call her back because he didn't know what it would be about or why and I was an attorney so I would be better at talking to her.  So, I called and left her a message telling her who I was and that I was a PD so my husband had wanted me to talk to her because he was kind of freaked out by her call.  She called back and was very nice and polite and explained that Hat wasn't in trouble and explained why she needed him to testify.  And after I talked to her, she said she might end up just subpoenaing both of us to testify.  


We'd be very inconsequential in the overall case, but it's still a little strange to out of the blue be involved in some stranger's court case (and not as their attorney!).  And I saw Hat's initials in the complaint and that was very bizarre.  I read complaints all day long, so it's very weird to have my husband in one of them, even if it was very brief.  So, we'll see what happens with that whole thing.  I told Hat what the prosecutor needed him for and said he would be fine talking to her if she wanted to talk to him more.  Then he wasn't so freaked out.  


All right, that's all the unheaving at the moment.  Time for bed!

Nothing like a migraine when you wake up to get you REALLY motivated for a day of court appearances. Ugh...

Pants are a pain all the time. Wearing them...making them...

I have been trying to sew a pair of pants for about 1 1/2 months now.  Ever since Hat got me that sweet sewing box for my birthday, I've been working on a pair of pants for work.  The first pair didn't work out because I messed up the pattern and they were too small.  This was a major setback since the pants were almost completed and I was really upset over that mistake.  But, I re-started the pants again and I'm now almost done.  I'm like 3 steps away from being completely done with the pants.  I will be extremely excited if I can complete the pants and they actually look decent!  Pants are tricky...very, very tricky, as I've discovered.  I'm sewing the hook-and-eye clasps on tonight and then I'll just have to do the hems and I'm done!!


Pictures will be forthcoming--assuming they don't look stupid.  If they look stupid, then there will be no pictures. 

Television brain-suck

OMG..."Sister Wives!"


I seriously can't stop watching this insanity.  Because these women are crazy!!!!!!!


It's terrible and I really should stop watching.  Except I can't...

I'm batting .1000!!

Winner, winner, chicken dinner!  My second felony jury trial ended today around 4:15 p.m.  Jury came back around 7:30-7:45--not guilty on both felony counts.  Wooooohooooo!!!!


The minute before the judge reads the verdict is the most stressful, nerve-wracking, and terrifying minute ever.  The second after he says "not guilty" is the most amazing, fantastic, and satisfying second ever.  And the emotional high from winning is spectacular!!


So, now I'm two for two on my felony jury trials.  Since I was only second chair on the murder trial, I don't really count that.  So I'm batting .1000.  


That's what I'm talking about.

Felony trial #2 begins today. Game face on!

Success is counted sweetest by those who ne'er succeed

I lost a sentencing motion today.  I worked super hard on it, as did a member of my support staff.  I even put together a powerpoint presentation to correspond w/ my verbal argument to the court  (and it took me roughly 6-8 hours to put the presentation together because I really don't know how to do powerpoint and kind of had to teach myself as a I went along).  But, in the end, the court did not agree with our recommendations, so we lost the motion. 


Despite the fact that we lost, I can take some consolation in the fact that I had people tell me that I did a really good job on the hearing.  Considering that in most of my court hearings, I'm always wondering if I sound like a total moron (it's that whole public speaking thing that can be a bit unnerving, even when your job requires you to do it every day), it was nice to hear that people thought I did well.  The court clerk told me I did an excellent job, another defense attorney in the courtroom told me afterwards that it was "hands down the best departure motion" she'd ever seen, and even the prosecutor told me afterwards that my powerpoint was really good.  So, at least I know that I did everything I could and the presentation of the motion was strong.  The court didn't agree with what we were requesting, but I did feel like the judge listened to the arguments and considered them and that's really all either side can ask for. 


Well, you can't win 'em all, and thankfully, for our side of things, you can't lose 'em all, either.  And as Emily Dickinson  so aptly stated, "Success is counted sweetest by those who ne'er succeed." 

Success is counted sweetest

By those who ne'er succeed

To comprehend a nectar

Requires sorest need. 

Not one of all the purple host

Who took the flag today

Can tell the definition

So clear, of victory!

As he, defeated, dying,

On whose forbidden ear

The distant strains of triumph

Burst agonized and clear!

Sunday evening musings

Sweet mother, I just saw an episode of "Sister Wives."  I'd never seen any episodes before tonight.  What the hell?!  I'd claw those other women's eyes out, no questions asked.  And then I'd kick my husband's ass for even suggesting he be allowed to bang other chicks, let alone force me to consider them my "sister wife."  


My favorite part of the episode was when the group had to move because the police were investigating them and the one woman looks at the camera, crying, and says, very seriously, "This isn't the America I learned about when I was in school."  And I thought to myself, "You mean, the America where if you break the law, you get in trouble with the police?  I'm not sure what America you grew up in, but in the America I grew up in, that's pretty much the routine."   ...you know, unless you have a killer public defender...hehehe...


My dad's coming out from the East Coast in about a week or so.  I told him I'm scheduled to be in trial that week, to which he replied that maybe he'd come watch me let a criminal go free.  Naturally I reminded him that if we won, then he wasn't a criminal, but that he'd be more than welcome to come watch since court is open. 


I've only had one person ever come see me while I'm in court--RV came and watched part of the murder trial but I didn't say anything so she more just watched the trial in general.  So, it would be kind of cool if my dad were actually able to come see my trial.  Even Hat hasn't ever seen me in court--for all he knows, I may have totally made up this whole "public defender" thing and I really don't do anything all day after I leave the house.  Well, that's not entirely true, since he's come to the office a few times and met many of my co-workers.  More accurately, I could have made up this whole "being a lawyer" thing--maybe I'm really working there as a paralegal or secretary or something else, since he's never actually seen me in court. 


Also, I love the show "Cops."  People are soooo weird on this show...and sometimes the cops are amazing and hilarious.  Like the episode I saw recently where 2 like 16 year olds were hanging around a meth house (unbeknownst to them) and the cops pulled them over and then found a joint in the car.  So, instead of arresting them or something, the cops made them each call their parents right there and then the cop told the parents that he'd busted them w/ weed and they were hanging out at a meth house, although they didn't have any meth and they didn't seem to know it was a meth house.  And the one girl started to cry and said, "Please, don't make me call my dad!"  That cop apparently knew that getting arrested is sometimes the better option if the options are arrest or telling the parents.   So, he made them deal with the worse option--the dad was yelling so loudly at the girl that you could hear him through the cell phone on the TV!!


Okay, back to the "Cops" marathon...

Back from the land of paradise

So, Hawaii was amazing.  Stepping off the plane felt a little like stepping into a movie, since everywhere I looked, there were palm trees and gorgeous mountainscapes.  And the ocean.  Lots of the ocean.  Like this:

Those are actual photos I took while we were there.  I know, right??  Un-freaking-real...

Needless to say, it was super relaxing.  My regular stabbing-upper-back/shoulder pain that likes to make my right side feel like misery didn't act up once while I was in Hawaii! I felt awesome the whole time I was there.  And, Hat's allergies disappeared, too.  So, physically and mentally, it was phenomenal.  Hat's already trying to figure out how we can move there.  However, since Hawaii makes you take its bar exam (no waivers), it probably won't happen.  One bar exam is torture enough!!

So, today it was back to work as usual.  Nothing really had changed.  Well, there was a new copier in the office--this one is in color!!--and it scared me a little since I'm technologically equivalent to a caveman.  So, when I had to fax something in to the court, I got a little nervous that I might not know what to do.  Thankfully, that aspect of it was the same as the old copier, so I was okay. 

I did win a sentencing argument today, so that was pretty neat.  It was a drug case and the agreement let me argue for a stay of adjudication (meaning no conviction is entered and if the person completes probation successfully, then there is never a conviction) and the state was going to argue for a stay of imposition (meaning a felony sentence isn't imposed and if the person is successful on probation, the charge is a misdemeanor on their record--it's a felony on their record while they are on probation, though).  So, I made my arguments and thought we had a decent enough shot at the court giving us the stay of adjudication.  And the court did grant that, which was pretty awesome.  

The judge I was in front of is very hard to read, though.  While I was giving my reasoning for requesting the stay of adjudication, I kept thinking, "Omg...what's that expression mean?? Is this going terribly? I don't think I sound like I'm talking crazy but maybe I am...ugh...what is this judge thinking?!"  The judge's face was somewhat stern looking and they kept raising one eyebrow at me, making me wonder if what I'd just said was totally nuts.  However, after the court went with our recommendation, I started to think that maybe that was just the judge's concentration face--I have been told I look mad when I'm thinking really hard, so maybe it's something like that.  Or maybe I did sound like a whacko but the court went with the recommendation anyway.  That's always a possibility.  

The biggest benefit of my Hawaii trip is now I look even less like I'm old enough to be a lawyer, since I now have a great big crop of freckles across my cheeks and nose.  Like a little kid.  They only ever come out in the summer time--they are not really visible at all in the winter, but in the summer and in the sun, they pop out like crazy.  So, as I was talking to one of the prosecutors today, she asked me, "Were you out in the sun recently?  I've never seen you with freckles before!"  So, I know that they are noticeable.  I already get asked about my age and how long I've been an attorney.  A big splash of little-kid-freckles can only make that perception even better...

So, May 21, 2011 is supposed to be Judgment Day, followed by misery for anyone who isn't Raptured. At least I got to go to Hawaii before all that happens.

A tale of two weather forecasts

Minnesota: 

May 12: Showers; high of 62; low of 50

May 13: Few showers; high of 56; low of 49

May 14: Few showers; high of 60; low of 44

May 15: Partly cloudy; high of 64; low of 46

May 16: Partly cloudy; high of 66; low of 47

May 17: Showers; high of 67; low of 46

May 18: Scattered showers; high of 66; low of 44

Hawaii: 

May 12: Partly cloudy; high of 84; low of 73

May 13: Partly cloudy; high of 83; low of 73

May 14: Partly cloudy; high of 83; low of 73

May 15: Partly cloudy; high of 84; low of 73

May 16: Cloudy; high of 84; low of 73

May 17: Partly cloudy; high of 84; low of 73

May 18: Cloudy; high of 84; low of 73

Do I really have to come back afterwards?? I'm sure I could pass the Hawaii bar exam.  And I hear Mormons are really big down there, so I'd fit right in (at least at first until they figured out that I secretly don't fit in at all).  I'm sure I can just stay there forever, right??

Thursday is Hawaii-day!! I'm almost on the amazing, glorious Hawaiian beach!! Just gotta make it through Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Then vacation!!!!

Humorous conversation of the day

One of the prosecutors and I were discussing bail on a case before court this afternoon.  I wanted him to agree to lower the bail.  While we were talking about why I thought he should agree to reduced bail, he was reviewing the bail evaluation, which is this form that ranks defendants based on a number of factors to determine whether bail should be set and at what level.  The scale goes something like this: 0-8 is low; 9-17 is medium; 18+ is high. 


Today's client had a score of 89.  While discussing the bail with the prosecutor, he says to me: "He's got a bail eval score of 89. I don't think I've ever seen one that high before."


Me: "Oh, I've seen ones that high before."
Him: "Really? You must know some interesting people."
Me: (Pause) "You know what my job is, right?" 


Hehehe...gotta have some humor to lighten things up at work.  

I'm a grumpy-pants lately

I have kind of wanted to punch everyone lately.  This is because my thyroid medication is definitely off.  As a result, my mood starts to suffer and I get seriously edgy.  Like I have been lately.  So, I end up having zero patience and then everyone gets on my nerves immediately.  


This is a problem at work, since dealing w/ my clients requires patience.  So far I've been okay at keeping it in check and not revealing the fact that I want to push people over all the time.  Just secretly, inside, I'm constantly thinking, "Shut up! Stop talking! I'm annoyed with you..."  To be fair, I think that about most people when my thyroid meds are off, but at least I can tell other people (like Hat and my co-workers) that I'm crabby due to that reason.  I generally don't discuss my medical issues w/ my clients, however, so I end up biting my tongue quite often and reminding myself that I've got my doctor's appointment in a few days so I will stop feeling so ragey soon enough. 


Some things will always annoy me, though, regardless of whether my meds are right or not.  Such as the clients who begin their first conversations with me by informing me that they have already spoken with some other attorney that they sort of know and that attorney told them that they should tell me to do X, Y, or Z on their case.  Yeah?? Well, go hire that attorney then.  Otherwise, let me do my damn job.


I have no problem if people want to take what I tell them and go get a second opinion.  That's fine.  But, then, if you decide you dislike my advice, don't come back and tell me that some other attorney would do it this way or that way so I should do it like that too.  No, I shouldn't. If you prefer some other attorney's advice/case strategy, then go hire them.  But I'm not them.  Don't tell me what I need to do based on what someone else told you.  I don't need to do anything that I don't think it appropriate--you need to go hire them if you like them better.  Trust me, I won't be offended.  


That being said, I did find out today that my reputation as an attorney precedes me.  And in a good way, not in a terrifying, rumor-filled sort of way.  I recently learned that when one of my clients found out that I was their public defender, they were very happy because they had heard I am nice and that I am a good attorney.  I do try to be nice, so that's probably a fair assessment.   Even when I'm low on thyroid meds and feeling full of rage, I still try to be nice to my clients.  Not nice in a lie-to-them-and/or-give-them-unrealistic-assessments-of-their-cases sort of way.  Nice in an understanding-listen-to-them-explain-things-thoroughly-break-bad-news-gently-to-them sort of way.  


Am I a good attorney?  I think I'm fairly decent.  I know my stuff and I know enough to know what I don't know and I go find it out if I don't know it.  But, I certainly don't think I'm amazing.  I've heard this before from other clients--the buzz at the jail for awhile was that I was "the good public defender"--and I always think this is probably more of a situation of me being nice and that being translated into me being some amazing attorney or something.  I can name many, many more attorneys who are much more polished than I am in court.  There are many attorneys who know case law citations in their heads.  I see much more eloquent and smooth-talking attorneys in court than I sound.  I've read transcripts of myself in court--that's never not-embarrassing.  So, I think I'm a solid attorney.  I think I'm good in the sense that I am not a dolt and if you ask me to explain something to you, I generally know enough about it to explain it.  But, I don't characterize myself as some fantastic courtroom presence or something.  I'd rank myself as average, especially because I'm still a relatively new attorney.  Some things you just have to learn by experience and I've only got 2 years of experience. 


But, it's nice to know that my clients are generally happy with my representation of them on their cases.  Obviously if my incoming clients are hearing that I'm nice and good, that must mean that my current and/or former clients are satisfied.  And that's more important to me than being all smooth and fancy in court.  Because let's face it--I probably won't ever be all smooth and fancy in court.  I'm the same girl who complains about having to wear pants and would totally have pajamas on under my robe if I were a judge.  Smooth and fancy just aren't in my realm.  It's a victory if I don't say "uuuuhhhhh" more than 10 times in one court hearing. 


And in other news, WTF is up with the Twins?? Shameful lately!! Incredibly shameful.  But, at least I'm kicking butt in fantasy baseball.  My record so far is 2-1 and it looks like this week will make it 3-1.  So, at least there's that. 

I get to see Cider on Sunday!!!!!

Birthday!

Yesterday was my birthday. I'm the big 2-8 now.  It was a pretty awesome birthday.  I played video games for most of the morning, then watched the Twins game.  They won, which was exciting.  Then I went to JoAnn Fabrics because I wanted to try to sew some more since Hat got me this sweet sewing box as my birthday present: 

Since it's now a whole lot easier to move my sewing stuff around, I feel like I will be much more inclined to sew.  I didn't have anything transportable to keep my sewing stuff in so I would have to make several trips back and forth to get everything.  Not anymore!  Hat even made sure to purchase all the thread that is in the second picture, along with a seam gauge, a pair of scissors, and a seam ripper.  Plus a gift card to be able to take a class at JoAnn's.  Very thoughtful! 

After JoAnn's, we went to the place nearby that sells pottery that you can paint.  That was a lot of fun.  I had an after-hours get-together, so it was all private and no one else could come into the store.  Very cool!  And my friends all had fun, which I wasn't sure if they would since not everyone's into painting pottery.  Then, they came over to my place to eat some delicious, Hat-made food and chill.  

It was an excellent, relaxing birthday.  Just what I needed! 

Cider was discharged from the hospital today!!!! Best! News! Ever!

Maybe the stupid weather is why I've been gloomy lately. Hawaii will help.

My thyroid medicine is off again. 


I know this because lately I keep having these depressing/crappy thoughts pop into my head that generally don't come to mind when my levels are normal.  Things like, "Good gracious, I have to go to work for 40 hours a week for the rest of my life?! Who made that rule? Effing a, this sucks balls."  and "Damnit, being a grown-up blows a lot more than I ever anticipated as a kid."  While those things are true, I generally don't dwell on them and they aren't a cause for me to feel grumpy.  Not the case lately, where I feel grumpy and out-of-sorts about it.  So, I scheduled a doctor's appointment--it's that time of the year anyway--in a couple weeks and they'll stab me a few times in an attempt to get my blood and then call me in a few days and tell me what I already know--that my medicine is off again.  I wish I could skip the stabbing part of it, but apparently that's necessary.  LAME. 

It was 70 on Tuesday. Today it snowed enough to collect on the ground. I hate you, Minnesota.

Updates

Hat and I recently went to Dave and Buster's to take my mom out for her birthday.  She very rarely gets to do anything fun, so we thought it would be a good time for her.  It was--she had a lot of fun.  We also had a lot of fun.  And, in exciting news, we managed to win enough prize tickets to score this sweet 4-person picnic set: 

Really what sold me was the mini salt and pepper shakers.  They are soooo adorable! What can I say?  I like things in miniature.  So, now Hat and I can go on picnics and/or camping.  Which is pretty cool. 

In other news, technology and I have not been getting along well lately.  In the last week, both my work computer and my cell phone have gotten all weird and janky on me.  I've spent crazy amounts of time on the phone w/ IT at work dealing w/ the computer.  And I spent like an hour+ dealing w/ my stupid phone.  I don't understand why technology constantly needs to revolt against me, but it does.  And I hate it.  I'm going to end up prematurely being one of those people who are all like, "What? What's this new-fangled gadget? What's wrong with my 8-track? Bleeeeehhh...."  

Work has been rather calm lately, strangely enough.  It's refreshing.  I haven't felt like crying or punching the wall in frustration in like a month.  Actually, I think it was the murder trial that has helped the situation, oddly enough.  It appears (although I'm not positive) that I was not getting assigned nearly as many cases as normal while I was in trial, so when I was done with the murder trial, I came back to a mass of paperwork, but not very many new files.  So, this allowed me to 1) catch up on the stuff that had come in while I was in trial and 2) not have a billion court appearances right afterwards so I could really actually catch up on stuff.  So, I have been able to be ready and prepared in court and I've had time to meet with my clients and do other out-of-court work on the cases.  So, that's been nice and different.  It's nice not to want to run screaming out of the office because I hate everything ever.