Sunday, February 24, 2013

Anxiety FTW*!!!

If I have any skills as a lawyer, my best one would be an insane obsession for detail. This is due entirely to my anxiety about looking like an idiot. I obsessively prep & organize, lest I forget something in court w/ everyone watching. Shudder...

This works well for my clients. They think I'm diligent. They don't know I am a hot anxious mess in my head. And this obsessive fear means I pore through the file again and again and again, noticing every detail.

I have caught errors in lab kit numbers. I have gone frame by frame through a video the prosecutor said he wasn't using bc it was "useless." I used it bc I went slowly through each frame. I have spotted tiny inconsistencies & pounded on them @ trial. I am terrified of looking dumb so I make sure I have all my ducks in a row to lessen the possibility of screwing up.

At least for once in my life my extreme anxiety has a good use. Who would have guessed that having social anxiety would make me a better lawyer?

*FTW means "for the win."

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