Sunday, May 27, 2012

Don't Expect to Come to my Book Signing or Anything

I've decided that I think I'm funny enough to write a book of comedic memoirs, a la David Sedaris and others. Why not, right? You guys read this and this is just my brain vomiting things out, often without even proofreading it. And I usually stick with present-day events, meaning no one ever gets to hear all the amazing stories that occurred in my life before I started blogging in 2004 and/or before I took down the archives from my blog over a year ago (sorry, newcomers...).

Plus, I can ramble on more in  a book format than a blog post. As it is, I'm too long already in many posts, despite my efforts to STFU.
At the moment, my tentative plan is to self-publish it on Amazon for the Kindle platform. Obvs I'm gonna use a pseudonym, like Ninja Fireballs or something else equally as awesome.  I'll charge like 99 cents for it for awhile until I realize that no one has purchased it and then I'll make it free. And then feel bad when no one downloads it even when I'm literally giving it away.  I feel like this is going to be a very confidence-building experience.
I've already started writing my first chapter, which is called, "I Know What That's For and Now I Think You're Gross." It's about my years of working in pharmacies as a pharmacy tech.
Once it's finished and I actually have someone review it for spelling errors and it's available to download, I'll make sure to post a link to it. Then all of you can check it out, think to yourself, "I'm not paying 99 cents for that crap, are you kidding me?" and then wait till it's free to still not download it.
For those of you who are identified and/or have your own blogs, I am totes planning on giving you a shout out, but it will be at the end so that way you will have to download it to see it. For those of you who remain anonymous, don't feel left out. There will be a shout out for you guys too, but it'll be for you as a group since I can't specify you individually.  You will also be at the end, so you have to download it to see it. Pandering is a excellent marketing strategy.

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