Tuesday, April 10, 2012

I promise I'm right on this one...

Actual conversation I had:

Woman (to me): Ok, so Mormons can't drink what now?

Me: Alcohol, coffee, and tea.

Man (to me): And pop, right? You can't drink pop. (aside--for any of you non-Minnesota folk, pop is our term for "soda," so he was asking me if Mormons couldn't drink soda)

Me: No, that's not true. We can drink pop.

Man (looking at me like I was very, terribly, sadly misinformed): Uhhhh, no, that's true. Mormons can't drink pop.

Me (sighing inwardly): Yes, we can. Some Mormons CHOOSE not to drink pop. It's not a religious doctrine or anything.

Man (dubiously): Are you sure??

Me (sighing inwardly again): Yes...I'm sure...I am Mormon, I would hope I know what I'm talking about.

...does this happen to non-Mormons ever? Like are people going around saying, "Oh you are Catholic? You guys aren't allowed to sleep on your left side. No, that is too true.  I heard that once from a guy I knew whose sister one time lived next door to some Catholics...are you SURE you can sleep on your left side? Where did you get your information from? Are you POSITIVE?? Well, I guess..."

Trust me, people, when I tell you that I can or can't do something. I mean, not to toot my own horn or whatever, but if I'm Mormon and you're not, I think it's a safe bet that I'm probably going to know more about it than you...

Yes, I drink Coke. No, I'm not going to hell for it.

And yes, I can also wear make-up, dance, celebrate my birthday, participate in major holidays, vote Democratic, and not support Mitt Romney.

Ok, I think that about covers it.


  1. I have that problem with military-related things, mostly from people who were in the service twenty years ago or people who are affiliated with branches other than the Air Force. I'm not in, but my husband is. I don't know absolutely everything about the military, but I do know protocol for deployments, my husband's promotion, etc. and it drives me CRAZY when people who don't know what they're talking about try to correct me or tell me "how things will be."

  2. I am so glad I'm not the only one who has to deal with know-it-alls!

  3. tinyhands11:28 AM

    ok, you're right but that only points out an inconsistency in the doctrine. if you're not supposed to have coffee or tea because of the caffeine, why can you have caffeinated cola?

  4. Hey TH: it's a common misperception that the prohibition on coffee/tea is because they contain caffiene. However, the language on the restriction is:
    "...hot drinks are not for the body or the belly."
    There is nothing ever mentioned about caffiene as the reason for the restriction. In fact, no specific reason is enunciated in the language.

    The church's official position on what is meant by "hot drinks" is that it refers to coffee and tea. This it can be read as "...{coffee and tea} are not for the body or the belly." Again, without any further explanation as to the specific reason for this prohibition.

    Thus, doctrinally, there is no inconsistency since the prohibition isn't against caffiene. It's against coffee and tea.

    Of course, we can debate the prudence of abstaining from things without being given a specific reason, but that's a different question than what you asked.

    Although it's commonly assumed the prohibition is because of the caffiene, that's not doctrinally accurate.

  5. So what if you have a head cold and want to drink a hot lemon drink? Or hot soup?

  6. Not all hot drinks are off-limits. Just coffee and tea. So, everything else is ok.

  7. Late in joining the fray, but as a Catholic, I've been through this many, MANY times. The worst is when the media interviews some Catholic nut job that spews total nonsense, and then that person goes on to become the go-to guy/gal for every Catholic issue. One day I'm going to snap and beat a few of them to death with the Catechism of the Catholic Church. I guess it'll have to be in Minnesota, so I can get a decent public defender, though.

  8. Anonymous9:04 PM

    Late to the fray, but I've been through this many, MANY times as a Catholic. The media has a knack for finding Catholic asshats that spew utter nonsense and then somehow they become the "go-to" guys/gals for every Catholic news bit. One day I'm going to have an aneurysm and I won't even get credit for martyrdom. Sigh.