Well, I lost my most recent felony trial. That sucked a lot, especially because I thought we had a really good case. I was pretty disappointed when we lost and was in a foul mood for the rest of the day and into the next one, as well. The only good part about the whole thing is that I know for certain that my client felt like he had good representation during his case. I know this because he told me. After my closing argument, I sat back down and he leaned over and said, "Guilty or not guilty, you did a great job. I just wanted you to know that." And then after we got the verdict, he said, "It sucks, but you did the best you could do and that's all I can ask for. I have no complaints--you're the best lawyer I've ever had and I've had lots of public pretenders in the past." So, while losing the trial really, really sucked and I was really disappointed, I took some solace in the knowledge that my client knew I'd put my all into it and that there was really nothing more I could do--no second guessing that if I'd only done this or that, then maybe the jury would have acquitted.
Other than that, work has been pretty much the same. The trial sucked up four straight days so I'm behind again on basically everything. So, that's going to be difficult to get back up to speed. I'm also scheduled to be gone from Dec. 22-Nov. 9 for my "Christmas break" that I like to give myself at the end of the year. I miss having summers and MEA weekend and Christmas break off from school--yes I know I've been done w/ school since 2008 and I should just grow up already, but I still love snuggling up under the covers with a cup of cocoa and watching daytime TV while it's cold and snowy outside, with the Christmas tree up in the corner and the lights all pretty. I like having some stay-inside-stay-warm-spend-time-with-the-friends-and-family time around Christmas. So, I'll take my Christmas break.
I talked tentatively with my dad about coming out to visit him (on the East Coast) over New Year's. There are two conditions for this to happen. The first one is something I've got control over (somewhat) and that's whether or not I can afford the trip. Whether I fly or drive, I'll have to spend money to get there and money has been very tight lately. The other consideration is something my dad will control and that was my request that if I am able to come out there, then he has to take me ice-skating at Rockefeller Center. Ever since I was a child, every movie based in New York in the wintertime inevitably has an ice-skating-at-Rockefeller-Center scene. I want to live in the movie moment for a little bit. My dad said that sounded awesome, so I know he's on board. Hopefully, I can save up enough money to make it happen.
In a deviation from the recent protocol, I feel that it is significant enough that today is my first major holiday without You Know Who (hereafter YKW) that I should mention it. It's definitely been rough at times today, although being with RV and RN and RV's majorly cute little 3 year old daughter has been a giant help in softening the sting/blow of spending this holiday without him. We still aren't really speaking, although a couple weeks ago he did stop by the apartment to grab some of his stuff and he'd bought me a bunch of groceries and left me a note that said, "Don't forget to eat." This confused me more than anything else and I didn't know what the motivation behind it was, so I was a bit muddled as to what to think. Then, we did see each other last Sunday, because I realized that I had reached a point in my "healing" process or whatever-the-eff it's supposed to be that I needed to tell him all the mean, angry things that had had time to boil up since he's been moved out. He wasn't really happy with being subjected to that, but when he demanded to know if the only reason I wanted to talk to him was to yell at him and call him names, I snapped back with, "Yes. And given how much of your shit I've put up with over the last three months, you can sit there for 10 minutes and listen to it." And then he did, without any more protests. At least he knew that he didn't have any right to try to leave or argue back or anything like that--he just let me have my say, no matter what I was saying, and let me unload.
After I got everything out and I got to say all the reasons I was mad and all the things I'd been thinking, I felt about 800 times better than I had in awhile and a lot of the anger I had dulled down a little. I'm still angry, obviously, as that will take a bit longer to get over, but a good chunk of it mellowed, so I don't feel so rageful all day long. And that's always a positive.
So, with the trial loss and the first holiday on my own and e'rything else, I decided to take RV and my mom up on their offer to pay for my trip out to Chicago to visit RV. I got in this morning at like 5:30 a.m. (barf) and I got to spend the day with RV, RN, the kiddo--who shall now be named Mouth because she never stops talking, and RV's husband. Besides gorging myself on turkey, stuffing, potatoes, rolls, pie, and whatever else was on the table, I've made sure to spend time teaching Mouth all sorts of awesome phrases that she can repeat. A few weeks ago, RV and her husband went on a vacation and Mouth came to stay with RV's parents, who live about 10 minutes away from me. I went to go visit and see Mouth and at that time, I taught her to punch the air and shout, "Rock you like a hurricane!!" She's still doing it which is hilarious and awesome.
In the one day that I've been here, I've taught her to say the following things:
1. "Mom, stop being so restrictive." (in response to any time RV tells her she can't do something or she can't have something or to stop doing something)
2. "HOV" (while holding her hands in the Jay-Z sign over her head)
3. "Ladies is pimps too."
4. "I like PDgirl better than RN." (RN wasn't pleased with that one!! Hahaha!)
5. "Brush your shoulders off." (while brushing her own shoulder off)
Tomorrow I will continue to reiterate those to her to make sure they are locked in, like "Rock You Like a Hurricane." I will also teach her a bunch of new things, too. The most hilarious thing about her is that she will repeat everything you say, even if you don't want her to (except swear words--she will say that swear words are "only for grown-ups" so she won't repeat those). Today, while RN, RV, and I were watching an episode of "the First 48," RN missed one of the main points in the case and asked about it, saying, "Wait, what happened to the money??" RV responded with, "He used the money to buy the crack."
Promptly, Mouth (who was playing by herself in the corner, working on a puzzle), piped up with, "Yeah!! He used the money to buy the crack!" And then I almost peed my pants because I was laughing so hard. She's so funny without even realizing it. She's definitely a good cure to chase away the blues...