Damnit

As I was driving home last night, someone unexpectedly took a left turn across traffic & into my lane. I tried to swerve to avoid hitting her but I wasn't able to avoid it. I collided with her back end. Then, she drove away!

I called my insurance company & the police. I found out from the officer who called me back that the woman who caused the accident had called to report it too. Apparently she explained that her sudden erratic turn into my lane was because her son started choking & vomiting in the back of the car, so she was trying to turn into a business parking lot to see if he was okay. Why she didn't turn right, NOT into oncoming traffic & into a parking lot on that side, I don't know.

So now my car is all sorts of jacked up. It runs still, but the bumper looks like it's going to fall off, the wheel well is misshapen, & I can't open the passenger door. So that's great.

Ugh.

Spinning my wheels & going nowhere

Lately work has been making me want to scream in frustration. It is really difficult to get offers from the prosecution & then the ones I do get aren't that good. And they aren't very specific as to what my clients can expect.

A majority of my clients are willing to plead guilty to something (not necessarily what the charges are) and the biggest concern they have is what will happen to them. They want some sort of assurance about what they can expect if they plead guilty. A trial is unpredictable & a high risk venture. Clients who are pleading guilty generally don't want to have that unpredictability & uncertainty. The draw of a plea bargain isn't just a reduced charge. It's also knowing what will happen & how this will affect their lives. The draw of a plea is in large part the certainty that comes with it.

Where are we going? And why are we in this handbasket?

SIGH. 

It's like a never-ending onslaught of destroying people's rights lately! Did no one take civics class in high school?? What is wrong with people lately?! Recently, this little piece by Lawrence O'Donnell from MSNBC started circulating on Twitter. And I saw it. And it made my head almost explode. 

Two Sides of the Same Coin

I have learned a lot about myself since the divorce and the one thing I have come to realize very distinctly is that I am two people. I am the person I let most people see & then I am the person I rarely let anyone get to know.

They are both technically accurate versions of who I am. It's not that one is fake & one is who I "really" am. It's more that the one everyone sees is an incomplete picture of my personality. There are pieces of the whole that are missing from the person I let people get to know.

Defending the public defenders

This article is probably the most offensive thing I've read about public defenders in a long time. It's so full of ridiculous assertions I barely even know where to begin. Let's review the idiocy put forth in this moronic article, bc I'm angry about it and feel like eviscerating it. 

Jury verdicts: what do they mean? Zimmerman, etc.

I don't have much to add to the cacophony of opinions on both sides of this George Zimmerman/Trayvon Martin trial. Everything that could be said about it has been said. But this case, along with all the other media-fodder cases, has polarized people.

The problem with this polarization is that there were only so many people who sat inside that courtroom day after day after day, and who heard all the admissible evidence. Yes, Zimmerman's trial was available via live stream, but that doesn't mean that people who weren't on the jury but who watched it via live stream are in a position to give opinions on the justice system as a whole. For one thing, there were discussions on evidence that were heard outside of the presence of the jury. As a practicing attorney, I can safely say that discussions on evidence heard outside of the presence of the jury are discussions about things that, often times, are inappropriate for a jury to hear, as doing so would improperly impact their decision. So, by watching the live stream of the trial or hearing/reading about things that the jury was not privy to, you have already compromised your ability to fairly assess the situation.

I did my very first 5k today!

I did the Run For Your Lives 5k zombie obstacle course today w/ CB & it was such a blast! Exhausting as hell but super fun!

It thunderstormed all morning, so by the time we did our wave, the course had turned into this super sloppy, wet, muddy nightmare. I slipped & fell on the mud so many times I lost count. It made some of the parts of the course almost impossible to get through, but CB & I powered through.

Everyone got these belts w/ 3 flags on them & there were zombies throughout the course trying to grab your flags. I was able to hang onto @ least 1 of my flags through 6 crowds of zombies (I lasted longer than CB!) and then I lost all my flags about halfway through. By that time, I was pretty tired & didn't mind not having to run away from the zombies. The obstacles were pretty difficult! There was a maze, monkey bars, wires to climb under, water to wade through, shock wires, a balance beam...not to mention super steep hills that had been turned into a mudslide by the rain.

Time to start playing hide the ball...

I am extremely annoyed with a case I am dealing with currently. I found out today just how differently I have to deal with the prosecutors in my current county from the prosecutors in my old county.

My general approach to lawyering/plea negotiations has been to be as honest & forthright as possible, w/o revealing any client confidences. I expect prosecutors to do that with me so I do that on my side of things. But apparently this general policy is not one that I should continue in this new county, since it's now being used to the detriment of my client, something that has never happened before on any of my cases.

Grumbles about things

Work has been exceedingly frustrating lately. It's making it really hard to feel any real satisfaction or enjoyment @ my job lately. There are a few things all kind of coming together that are making things tough.

The first is the rapid pacing of probation violation hearings recently. Unlike new charges, where a person has to be given bail, on probation cases the person can be held w/o bail until the hrg, which has to be w/in 7 days. This week I have 3 or 4 of those hrgs scheduled which means I am scrambling to try to get things done on the cases in time. It's really difficult to get everything done when it's so fast & so many at the same time.

I am also getting little in the way of offers on cases. This makes it difficult to make any headway on the cases. Most of my clients want to resolve the case but it's hard to get offers out of the prosecution & when I do, the offers aren't even all that good. So clients are just of the mindset that they might as well take their chances @ trial. So that means extra work for me bc of trial prep.

In a non-work related but still frustrating item, I am doing my very first 5k this Saturday w/ CB and I am pretty excited for it, but no one is coming to watch & cheer me on. A couple of my friends said they would try to but couldn't get the day off work. My family isn't coming for whatever reason. So no one will be there w/ me except CB. I am glad she will be there w/ me so @ least I won't be totally alone, but it would be nice to have @ least one or two of my friends or family there, too. I know it's just a dumb 5k but it's my first one & kind of a big deal to me. Really sucks that I won't have anyone to celebrate with me.

Grr, I am a crankypants.

Hopefully this won't crabby mood won't last too long.

Summer Bucket List

Work is making me feel very stabby today so I need something to distract myself from being in a crabby mood.  It's been really nice outside the last week or so (it was a non-stop rainfest for basically all of June) so I started thinking about all the stuff I always say that I want to do over the summer but never get around to actually doing it. So, I'm going to have a summer bucket list and make sure i do the things on my summer bucket list. 

So, here's what I've thought of so far: 

Today was the best day I have had in a super long time

Went for a run. Had brunch w/ a friend I haven't seen in awhile. Spent the afternoon tanning on a dock w/ a friend playing Mad Libs.

Perfect. So happy.

After spending so long being miserable, I can't help but be incredibly grateful & appreciative of these happy, wonderful days.

Happiness is...my life

I am in the middle of unpacking my new apt. It's much nicer this time around than it was last time around. Emotionally I am miles away from where I was the last time I had to move. I feel more like this is my own place, my own space. I feel like I am carving out my own life again, which is a great feeling after spending such a long time feeling like my life was on hold. It's really satisfying to feel like I am back to the person I used to be & that I am finally creating a life for myself again.

So things have been going well lately. Work has been going pretty well. The move went well. The cats are doing well. Etc. Etc. Etc. I have put dating on hold & took my profile on the dating website down today. I wasn't really finding anyone interesting on there. And the dudes who were contacting me on there were either creepy, way old, or pervy. So it was just irritating more than anything. But that's cool. I found out that I am capable of dating, which I wasn't really sure of when I signed up, and I think just getting out there was important for me to finally put the past in the past. I still have my doubts that I will be in a serious relationship anytime soon (or ever again). But I thought that way before I met YKW, so it's not like the divorce made me think that way. I think it's bc I am too awesome & no one can keep up w/ my awesomeness. Duh! But it's cool. I really like my life right now & I can honestly say I am really happy for the first time in a long time & at this point, that's what matters.

I am finally happy for the first time in forever. And it's awesome.