Sounds about right

A prosecutor today said to me that he was only going to call people by their last name and then starting calling anyone around him by their last name. (He was in a silly mood). So, I immediately informed if that was the new thing he was doing, I was changing my last name to Murderawesome.

Oh you fancy, huh?

After a little more than 3 1/2 years, I've changed offices. I got to  take an office that is slightly bigger office than my old office AND my new office has windows! I'm liking it. Moving my stuff sucked, but whatev. I'm big time now, with my windows.  Baller, baby!

Here is what I did this weekend

So, my step-dad went back in the hospital again and then back out. It's an ongoing debacle with his health right now. Blood too thick, then too thin, clots, pneumonia, necrotic section of his lung...it's a mess. But he is hanging on, so that is good. But he looks terrible. He is definitely struggling.
Other than that, Thanksgiving went well. It was small, just me and my mom, step-dad, my brothers, and a couple other people. But it was laid back, which was nice. I went over to my mom's place the night before and had a nervous-then-later-funny experience.
When I got to the house, the radio in the kitchen was on and it looked like Mom was in the middle of making something, but she wasn't there. I asked my brother where she was and he said she went to the store. But her car was still in the driveway, so I called her cell to find out where she was at and how long she would be. Then her phone rang in the kitchen. I went into the kitchen again and realized her cell phone, her purse, her wallet and her keys were all still on the kitchen table. So, at this point, I was getting concerned. I went outside and noticed there were wet tire tracks in the driveway. Out of an abundance of caution, I used my cell phone camera to take pictures of the tracks (and no, they weren't mine...I parked on the street).  I figured it couldn't hurt to have pics since they would eventually evaporate.
Turns out my mom had cash and had walked (in the dark) to the store. She made fun of me for taking pics but I reminded her that if something HAD happened to her, she should be glad I'd taken them. She kept calling me CSI all night. I told her it was her fault for leaving and making it look like an episode of Forensic Files.
So that is our funny story for this holiday season.

Actual conversation

Me: Just because they have a biological specimen doesn't mean that they can pull a useable DNA sample from it.
Other attorney: Really? I didn't know that. Where did you learn that?
Me: CSI.

At some point, I should think about looking into this concept of growing up

My step dad is out of the hospital. They were able to shrink the massive clot in his lung enough for him to be released. He is still really fragile, weak, and very ill, but no longer on the verge of death. The icu dr said if he had waited even one more day, the clot would have moved to his heart and likely killed him. It moved that way while he was in the icu but they were able to do something about it. Had he not been there, it would have been a different situation.
Still not divorced yet. We have talked about the last of the details so I'm expecting to get the papers every day that I open my mailbox but so far, nothing. So, I'm still waiting on that.
As usual, I once again was the epitome of maturity as I waited in the courtroom for my turn and listened to the prosecutor give an offer of the facts the state would intend to prove at trial. It was a case where apparently a witness statement included the term "pee pee" and as a result, the prosecutor repeatedly had to say "pee pee." There was something too hilarious about a 48 year old man who is extremely intelligent and very professional saying "pee pee" over and over again. I had a serious case of the church giggles over it. After the hearing was done, I said to him, "Hehehe, I heard you say 'pee pee.' Hehehe." To which he grinned and replied, "I know!" So there you go...your public defender may be silently holding in her giggling at the most immature and ridiculous things. You just never know. Can you believe they gave me a law degree? Ahahaha, I'm hearing him say "pee pee" in my head as I'm writing this and it's making me giggle again.
Other than that, everything is pretty much the same sh*t, different day. Just me, Ward, and dumb baby Hubert doing what we do, living the thug life.
Which of course means watching Sister Wives and taking a nap. Because seriously...wtf, Sister Wives? W.T.F.?

Stupid Dumb Baby

Hubert has decided that his new favorite thing to do is to sneak into the bathroom, pull the tampon wrappers out of the garbage and run around the house with them.
Sigh...
I suppose I should be glad that it's only the wrappers and not anying else. But it's still annoying to find tampon wrappers all over the house.
Stupid dumb baby cat.

Funny work moment

Today was my office day. I spent the morning watching interrogation videos on a couple of cases. My co-worker came in during two different videos. The second time he came in, he asked, "So, are you just going to sit in here and watch movies all day?"

Bwahaha!

Knock it off any time, Universe

So my step-dad is in the ICU now. He has massive blood clots in his femoral artery and his lung. The one in his lung has started moving towards his heart. I'm hoping he will be okay.
I'm officially at my end point. I cannot handle one more emotional or stressful event. I'm about ready to just give up on everything. My practical side won't let me not work or pay rent, etc. but I'm basically turning into a robot. I've started to resign myself to the fact that I will never be truly happy and I'm simply going through the motions, waiting to die one day. My brain and emotions can't handle anything more.

Just call me Little Miss Sunshine

So I think that knowing that feeling mildly unhappy each day is not normal actually makes me feel more unhappy, if that is possible. It's like when you're a kid and you don't know you've got some cut or scrape till someone asks about it and then it suddenly starts hurting now that you are aware of it.
Now it's like, "Great, everyone else is feeling happy and content, not mildly unhappy like I always thought. That is not fair. Why can't I feel like that? Oh right, the depression. Well, that's not fair, either." (Insert grumpy sigh here).
Apparently, atypical depression responds well to MAOIs. They apparently have the best success for treating it. And they can't be mixed with pretty much every other med I'm on. So that is fun.
So in sum, I'm a barrel of sunshine lately.

Friend is a Four-Letter Word

To me, coming from you,
Friend is a four-letter word
End is the only part of the word
That I heard
Call me morbid or absurd
But to me, coming from you,
Friend is a four-letter word.
To me, coming from you,
Friend is a four-letter word
End is the only part of the word
That I heard
Call me morbid or absurd
But to me, coming from you,
Friend is a four-letter word.
When I go fishing
For the words
I am wishing
You would say to me
I'm really only praying
That the words you'll soon be saying
Might betray
The way
You feel about me.
To me, coming from you,
Friend is a four-letter word
End is the only part of the word
That I heard
Call me morbid or absurd
But to me, coming from you,
Friend is a four-letter word.
- Friend is a Four-Letter Word by Cake

Well, balls...and here I thought that was just my personality

My counselor mentioned that he thought I might have dysthymia.  I didn't know exactly what that was, so I was looking it up after my last appointment.  It didn't sound like a really great fit for my situation, since I'm not always unhappy.  In fact, I'm perfectly capable of having a good time if there's something enjoyable going on around me.  I'm not incapable of having fun or laughing or having good days.  It's just that most of the time, I don't see what there is to get all excited about on a day to day basis.  I mean, let's be honest--life kind of sucks hard more often than not.  So, why would I get up every day and be all chipper and excited for the day when I'm going to just get up, go to work, go home, and repeat?  It's not like that's super awesome or something.  It just is what it is.  

But apparently, that's not normal.  Well, that's news to me...I thought I was just as normal as everyone else.  Sure, I'm aware I'm more cynical than most people, but I always assumed that is because I'm not delusional.  I didn't know that my opinion that most days are boring, uneventful, and sucky was not a routine feeling.  I guess it was enough to make my therapist think I might have dysthymia.  But, again, that didn't sound like a totally accurate fit for me.

And then I ran into this:

Yay!

Obama wins!
Now just waiting to see about the marriage amendment and voter ID amendment.

Short & sweet

I'm going to see Flight tonight. It looks awesome. And Denzel is pretty good looking.
YKW and I have a phone conference on Monday to discuss the incorrect divorce papers. I'm assuming that we will finally get everything corrected and then he can submit the corrections to his lawyer. And then hopefully this whole nightmare can finally be over. I just want to be done. I don't have enough energy anymore and I just want there to be some end to this horrible holding pattern I've been in for more than a year. I don't want to be divorced anymore than I want to be kicked in the head, but if it has to happen, I'd rather get it over with quickly. I don't want to keep waiting for the painful event.
I want a nap.
That is all.