Poor Ward...

He has been so confused without Oscar around. He keeps wandering around, looking for him, and going to all the spots in the house where Oscar used to sleep or hang out. He keeps trying to find him and then when he can't, he will meow a little and go lay on something that Oscar used to always lay on. And he has been super clingy lately, like when I woke up this morning and found him curled up next to my tummy (see photo).  Poor guy has never lived in the apt without Oscar here, so I'm sure he is lonely without his best bud. I'm not sure how he will deal with things when I am gone at work all day and he is all alone.
At least I am moving this weekend, so Ward will be in a new environment after losing his buddy.  Then maybe he won't miss him so much bc he won't be able to go look for him in all his normal spots.
Poor guy...too bad I can't just explain to  him what happened. Instead, he just lost his best friend and doesn't know where he went or when he is coming back.  Poor Wardy...

I had to see YKW yesterday and today

The move is this weekend, so he came to pick up the last few of his items that were still at my apt and to help with some of the clean-up that is required in order to get the security deposit back.

I found Oscar literally minutes before YKW called to tell me that he was outside, ready to be let in. I was bawling like crazy about Oscar (who was actually Hat's first cat that he had ever owned and who convinced Hat that he was actually a cat person even though he shears said he wasn't).  YKW was actually very great about the whole situation. He wrapped him up in a towel and let me hold him and he hugged me a few times while I cried and held Oscar one more time. He got a box to put him in and I needed to bring Oscar over to my mom's (where he is going to be buried on Monday after I am done moving and she is back from camping).  He offered to stay and clean while I went to my mom's, but the thought of doing this terribly sad task on my own made me cry even harder and I said, "I can't. I can't do it by myself. Not this..." So without hesitation, he carefully picked up the box and said, "Ok, let's take care of him, then."  He rode with me, holding onto Oscar's box, and talked to me about work and his family and my family and our friends, about anything other than my poor kitty. He was actually very kind and caring about the whole situation, especially since we haven't talked really at all since December and now suddenly he was having to help me deal with this crisis situation.

Then, we got back to the apt and he helped me clean and pack up some of my stuff that I haven't had enough time to get packed up. It was actually not awkward or uncomfortable like I was worried it would be. We just kind of chatted about things that we had been doing in the last few months and avoided any serious conservation. He asked me about where I was moving to a few times in a few different ways and I just said I was staying in the same general area without giving any real details.

He came back over today to continue with the cleaning and again was very kind about Oscar. I think he could probably tell from my face that I had cried quite a bit last night, because my eyes were really swollen (a side effect of crying that I have always had and I usually have to put ice on them if I'm going anywhere and need to de-puff) and I had huge bags under my eyes. He right away asked if I was doing okay today and I just said I was okay. He then asked if I was dealing with Oscar's death okay and I just shrugged and said I was coping with it. And then we moved on and cleaned and packed and avoided anymore Oscar-talk bc I had clearly been crying about it. 

Things went fine again today. No serious topics discussed again, chit chatted, etc and packed and cleaned. He had to work, so he left in the late afternoon. Before he left, we took a break from all the work we had been doing and  sat on the couch and Ward cuddled with him for a while. Ward has been a bit lost without Oscar, so he has been pretty clingy and wanting to cuddle a lot. And he always loved Hat a lot, so he was happy to see him and wanted to be by him the whole time he was here.

Things went fine, YKW was very helpful and did a lot of work on the apt, and it wasn't awkward or weird, like I thought it might be. He offered to come over on Sunday morning if I needed help still on Sunday.  So, depending on how much I can get done between now and then, I may still need his help on Sunday, but I'm hoping that I will be all set by then.

So, that's that, I guess.

I miss my kitty

I'm going to miss my big guy so much

Oscar died today.
I'm heartbroken.

In bad news...

I have felt sick to my stomach for the last two days. I keep trying to tell myself that I feel better, but I really don't. Tums isn't helping. Pepto bismal isn't helping. Laying on my stomach helps a bit but not much. Not moving also seems to help a bit too.
It's both rolling around and also occasional stabbing pain. So that is miserable feeling. I also keep burping all the time, which makes me feel better for about 30 seconds and then the rolling returns. And my tummy is all swollen and bloaty. It's like the worst case of indigestion + gas + bloating + stabbing pain for no apparent reason all put together. It's pretty much the suckiest illness ever. I'll take a cold or sore throat any day.
I have a couple of co-workers who have also been having tummy troubles lately, so I think there must be something going around the office. Whoever brought this in is cursed in my heart. Stomach issues were the worst. I am not happy about this at all. Stupid stomach ache.
Ugh...I'm hoping I will feel better tomorrow... So far, it hasn't improved but I figure it has to start getting better soon...right??

Check out my sweet nails!

Time for a product review! It's been awhile since I've done one of these, so it's long overdue.
Two Saturdays ago, I tried out Sally Hansen Salon Effects Real Nail Polish Strips. I went for pink and brown argyle, bc I figured, hey why the heck not? They also have normal shades as well, but who wants that?

Talk about highway robbery!

Apparently, there were some problems with attorneys not getting the first statement about needing to register this year, so the Clerk of the Appellate Courts Office sent them all again.  That's when I realized that I was one of those that hadn't gotten the first statement. Awesome.
So, I now have until July 1 to cough up $329 to be able to keep my license from getting suspended. Last year, I was still getting the discounted rate for being licensed for less than three years. I didn't realize how much it would be this year. Cripes, what a racket...
Well, it's a good thing we public defenders make soooooooo much money that I just have $329 laying around...oh, wait, never mind. No, I don't.
So that's gonna be fun trying to get that together now. Sigh...

Whew! Support staff to the rescue!

Made it through two very tough, very busy days in court yesterday and today. Between the two days, I had 45 hearings--24 on Tuesday and 21 today. I think that might be like 1/3 of my entire caseload right there!
Thankfully, the court staff was awesome and helpful and I had assistance from our office on both days. Without both the court staff and my co-workers, I don't know that I would have ever managed to make it through all those cases!

Holy smokes...

Stopped by the office late yesterday evening to grab whatever files I had scheduled for today. That's when I realized I have 23 hearings on today. And 21 tomorrow.
Holy balls, that's a lot of hearings in two days.

Ben Franklin knows what I'm talking about

My recent win of my suppression motion that resulted in a dismissal of 14 felony counts has been met with uncertainty from some of my friends and family. Most frequently, people ask me something along the lines of whether the dismissal is really a good thing and/or if I'm actually happy that the defendant "gets off" on 14 counts.
My answer to that is a pretty solid "YES." Here's why I say yes, and why anyone who thinks otherwise should reconsider.

Yay, I won!

I checked on a motion I had in before trial/vacation that I figured the judge's order would come out when I was gone on vacation and saw that it had. And that I won! The evidence was suppressed and as a result, 14 felony counts were dismissed!! I'm really excited! This is definitely my biggest pretrial win of my short legal career.  I had 4 different arguments and the court agreed with three of them, which was neat to see that. It's cool when the courts agree with my arguments, because then I feel like I might actually know what I'm doing! Lolz!

Home again, home again, jiggity jig

Well, we are traveling home today. Won't be in until pretty late tonight, which doesn't include the hour we lose switching from mountain time back to central time.  It was a wonderful vacation and really neat to get to see so many excellent sites and gorgeous scenery.  I got to add three magnets to my refrigerator magnet collection (that's my thing--I collect magnets from every place I go each time I go there, one for each trip. I don't currently have very many, but I hope that eventually I will have more) and I got to spend time with my good friends. It was really nice and it was cool to do things I've never been able to do before!
But it's back to reality when I get home. And by "reality," I mean a trip to the doctor's office, a long weekend of packing my entire apartment into boxes to prepare to move in about two weeks, and cleaning my entire apartment before moving out. Blech. I have to do that intense, super-deep-cleaning that is required when you move out of a place...oven, vacuum every nook and cranny, clean the fridge, defrost the freezer and clean that... This is the part I hate the most about moving. It takes at least a few days and a couple of very generous friends to get everything done that is required. It's so exhausting. So, once I get back to Minnesota, it's a long weekend of that! Yay... I took a couple days off work in order to get everything done because I'll be doing most of it on my own. Normally, YKW would be around to help me pack and the job would go much faster, but it's just me so it's going to take a few days...sigh. I hate moving... Oh well. It must be done.

My visit to a hot spring was basically what I expected...

Today is our last day on vacation.  We decided to go visit a hot springs nearby.  The guide online said that it was an "easy" walk down to the hot springs from the parking area.  The online guide was a filthy liar.  It was very rocky and full of pointy boulders on the way down.  The "path" wasn't so much a path as it was a series of semi-clear spots in between pointy boulders.  I was wearing sandals, as was my friend.  This made the "easy" walk trek of death even more difficult since sandals are generally not conducive to scaling cliff faces. 

Did I mention I'm terrified of heights?

Did I also mention that if you slipped, you would roll down the side of the rock face hundreds and hundreds of feet, severely breaking every bone in your body, before finally smashing into the Rio Grande?

Yep.

Next stop...

Taos, New Mexico!
I'm pretty excited. I love my friends for inviting me along on this trip.
This has been a tough last 10 months to live through, but things like this make me realize that even with the sadness and bad things that have occurred, I'm very blessed in many ways.  Having friends who are thoughtful enough to invite me along to help keep my spirits up, having a job where I can take time off for vacations, having the financial ability to save up some money to go on this trip, and being able to see this beautiful, breathtaking area of the world are just a few of the ways I've been blessed even in times of great sadness.  Recognizing these things makes it easier to pass through the dark times in life.  Plus, it's hard to feel sad when I'm surrounded by such incredible beauty in such a majestic place. I'm more relaxed and stress-free than I have been in the last 10 months.  I definitely needed to get away and be in a place where it's impossible for me to feel sad.
This is the first time in 10 months I've felt really truly happy, really content with things. I'd forgotten how wonderful that feels. Even if it doesn't last, even if the sadness creeps back in once I get home, I'm very grateful for being able to feel that contentment and happiness for right now.  Because at least I know it's possible to feel that way again, something I wasn't sure of before.

I'm here

Mesa Verde National Park.
Breathtaking.

Crap

Guilty.
Sonofabitch.

I'm tired

I'm in the middle of a trial this week.
I'm pooped and it's only Tuesday. Whew...
If anyone invents a 30 hour day, please let me know. I could use the extra time.