Pages

Monday, January 21, 2013

For everything there is a season (but that doesn't mean I have to like it)

They say the only thing constant in life is change. For me, that is problematic. I'm not a big fan of change.

I wouldn't say I hate change. I don't hate change in general. I hate change I have no say in, change that I can't control, change that is thrust upon me with no warning and without my input in it. Change that I am choosing is fine. I'm a control freak and I hate not feeling in control.

Everything seems to be in transition lately. I'm not happy with it. I don't have time to adjust to one change before another comes along. I will be the first to admit I am a huge baby and I usually have to be dragged through change, kicking and screaming. And when they continually come one after another, I get cranky. And unhappy.

Too many changes at once make me feel stressed and anxious and crabby. I just got dismarried (a term recently suggested by a reader as an alternative to "divorced" since I can't bring myself to say it) and I'm trying to deal with that without constantly turning into a bawling mess, I'm trying to adjust to being moved to a new county and a new court, and there are even more changes coming at work. I'm left w/ very few things that aren't in some sort of transition.

This means I'm one cranky, crabby, unhappy, miserable girl. I can't seem to get my bearings on one aspect of my life before something else shifts. I don't like it. I don't enjoy constantly feeling like things are out of my control and I have no ability to do anything but keep my head down and try to make it through.

Basically, I'm an enormous ball of unhappiness right now. Moreso than usual.

No comments:

Post a Comment