Being a public defender is pretty much the coolest thing ever.

My job kicks so much ass it's unbelievable.


It's ridiculously awesome. If I had to rate it on a scale from 1 to insanely awesome, I'd have to go with insanely awesome. 


I have about 50 cases already, which is crazy to me. It's not really a lot by most public defender caseload standards, but it's a lot by my standards, which has been zero up to this point. 


I've got misdemeanors so far and I'm covering three counties. The drive to each courthouse blows because they are really spread out, but it's nice that we get reimbursed for our mileage. I've got stuff from fishing w/o a license to DWIs to fifth degree assault. It's so awesome that I have my own clients and my own cases. A bit overwhelming but awesome. 


I have new cases constantly, too. Every morning that I've been there, there's been more stuff in my inbox everyday. I'm still trying to work out my system so that I can stay on top of what needs to be done when. My office is super sweet, too. And I have a way comfy chair and a sweet desk that's super big. Here are some photos I took w/ my phone:


This is the view of my office door as seen from my comfy chair:

You'll notice that my inbox is cleared out, because I got on top of that right away. Yep, I'm productive.


This is the chair directly in front of the door and behind it is my bookshelf. It is currently empty because I don't know what I'd put in it. I'm thinking maybe books like "How to Eviscerate Cows" and "Don't Worry, You're Not Crazy Just Because You Love Reality TV Too Much." You know, ones that show off how smart I am.

This is my desk as seen from my door (I stood in the doorway to take this picture). You can see my super big desk w/ the three sides, my computer, my un-empty inbox because the secretary came and put more files in it, my 100 post-it notes by the computer, and my sweet bag/purse. AND my comfy chair. It's very comfy. I like to sit in it and lean back and put my feet up on the desk in the corner to the left of the computer screen when I'm reading case files and/or listening to evidence CDs. 

And finally, this is the wall that the door is along. You can see my file cabinet w/ my case files in it and more of my comfy chair and my huge desk. It's so huge.

So far, I LOVE it. I love the job so much! I made one of my clients super happy today, too, which felt awesome. He had called me before I had even started and asked me to call him back about his case. So I called him on Wednesday and he told me he had some witnesses to back up his story. I told him I'd check into it and get back to him as soon as possible. Today, I called him to let him know that I'd sent the information about the witnesses to our investigator and that he was looking into it. I told him I didn't have anything else to tell him other than that, but that I wanted him to know that I did have someone checking it out and that I hadn't forgotten about it. He seemed really happy to hear from me and told me that he really, really appreciated that I had called him to let him know that I was working on his case. So that was good to hear. It was nice to make someone feel happy about his case, especially because most of the time public defenders get such a bad rap. Amazing what a phone call did, especially considering I had nothing to tell him other than I was checking it out. But hey, it made him happy and that was good.

I have to admit I'm a little a lot freaked out by the difference between every other job I've had and this one. I'm not used to being respected at work or treated well, so I kind of don't know what to do. I'm not used to having autonomy in my decision-making at work--I've only ever held jobs where someone was constantly watching everything I did and making sure I was ALWAYS BEING PRODUCTIVE even if that meant I was only pretending to be productive so I wouldn't get yelled at (read: Santa Photo). I'm not used to having freedom and the ability to do things how I want them instead of using some stupid system that doesn't make any sense. It's totally weirding me out. 

For example, today I worked a bit on a DWI case I had until about 12:30. Then I was hungry, so I decided it was time for lunch. I don't have much money because I haven't gotten my first paycheck yet (duh) so I needed somewhere cheap and figured a fast food drive through with a dollar menu would work. So, I packed up my stuff and was on my way out, when I paused and thought, "Uh oh...should I tell someone I'm going on my break? Who should I tell? Everyone's out to lunch themselves...uh oh..."  So then I decided to just go grab something and come back, but as I was pulling away, I couldn't help but think, "Oh man, what if I get in trouble because I didn't tell someone?" Then I remembered I don't have to, but it felt so weird and wrong. 

Another example--while working on that DWI case, I was looking online for information about the nystagmus test (eyes jerking around test) and I kept thinking that my supervisor was going to come over and yell at me for being on the internet, even though it was job-related. Everywhere else I've worked, being on the internet for any reason was WRONG WRONG BAD WRONG! But, it's not here, especially because I was trying to find out information for a case. Still couldn't shake the feeling that I was totally going to get in trouble. 

I'm left alone most of the time when I'm in my office to do whatever I want in any order I want. Do I want to read the case files for next week or do I want to check out the stuff that's scheduled for court and jury trials instead? Whatever I want. Do I want to spend an hour acquainting myself w/ the ways the MN court decisions differ from Supreme Court decisions on search and seizure? Well, I certainly can. Do I want to start one case file, listen to half the evidence CDs and then move to another one because I can't think about that issue anymore? Knock myself out. Do I want to spend half an hour today sitting in my chair, thinking about the things the police report said and more importantly the things it didn't say and taking a few notes on my thoughts? I most certainly can do that. It's SO WEIRD to me that I am getting paid more money than I have ever been paid in my whole life to do things that I would normally do anyway at my house, like sit around and read about nerdy law stuff and sit and think about them. It's so weird to me that I can decide when to call clients, what to talk to them about, when to do what and in what order... I am so weirded out by the autonomy I have. I think it will take me awhile to get used to it. I like it, but I always have this vague sensation that I'm going to get in trouble. 

The other weird thing was when I went to submit my time off for the wedding. I requested off the 15th of May since I"ll actually be getting married on that day, as well as the 18-21. My supervisor came back to me and told me he was worried about the fact that I wouldn't have enough vacation to get paid for my time off. Now, in my head, I knew that and I just assumed I'd have to deal w/ the loss of that income. Like every other job I've ever had--when you don't work, you don't get paid. Simple as that. However, my supervisor was very concerned about the fact that I wouldn't get paid and said it was important that I did get paid for it. It was?? Well, I didn't know that... So, he told me to make sure I have 40 hours of deferred comp time in by April 1. And then I had to ask, "What deferred comp time?" because I don't know what these fancy things are all about! And that's when he told me that any time I work over 8 hours in a day, it's deferred comp, meaning I can get paid later for it. Meaning I can get paid on my wedding day/honeymoon. Sa-weeeeeet. Didn't expect that!

It's so weird and cool and awesome all at once. It's awesome and unreal to see my name on things, with "Assistant Public Defender" underneath it. Ot to see my name listed in the "Defendant's Attorney" line. It's just crazy unreal and so freaking amazing. It just is so gratifying to have busted my ass as much as I did and to have come from living on welfare and food stamps w/ my mom, sharing a bed because she couldn't afford two, staying at home by myself because my mom couldn't afford daycare or a babysitter, to now getting to see my name at the top of letterheads w/ the seal of MN next to it. I've reached my zenith. It doesn't get much better than this. 

And of course, I am still a little bit lot of that same old pajama-wearing welfare girl I've always been--while I don't have pajamas at work, I do take my shoes off quite a bit because who wants to wear heels all day?! I'm thinking about getting some slip on shoes to wear around the office when I'm out of court. And maybe--just MAYBE--I'll tuck a pair of cozy black pajamas pants into one of my desk drawers and change into them when I don't have court. Yessssss.